Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - Do you prefer your father or your mother?
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post #14 of (permalink) Old 09-20-2019, 08:34 PM
ssɐlƃ ƃuᴉʞool ǝɥʇ ɥƃnoɹɥ┴
zonebox's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Florida, Oosa
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,086
My Mood: Inspired
Growing up, I think I loved my mother more. Now I love them both equally, I have found my father to be an amazing person with dynamics I never realized in my youth. I will be absolutely devastated when either of them die, I wish they could live forever and don't know what I will do when either of them are gone, it will be quite a horrific blow. My mother is now 69, soon to be 70 and my dad is 74 - I know their death is just around the corner, and it is a source of constant concern. I don't have many people in my life that understand me, hell, they don't even understand me very well, but their love is absolutely appreciated, and once it is gone it will hurt a lot.

They were not perfect parents, I remember the beatings I would get, I remember a lot of ****ty things, but I also remember all of the good times as well. They did love me and my brothers though, and in the grand scheme of things, especially in their era, I think they did well. They have their faults, but I accept them, people are not without faults.

Knowing that death is the inevitable outcome in the short future, I hope my mother goes first. Not because I love her any less, but because I know she is less likely to be able to cope. I think my father will be incredibly hurt, but I think he has more of a capacity to move on. If my dad passes away first, I think my mother would be in absolute misery, not knowing what to do, it would be a torturous existence for her and I wouldn't want to see her go through that.

Live and let live
"Whoever fights monsters should
see to it that in the process he does not become a
monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss,
the abyss will gaze back into you."

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