I'm sorry you're suffering so. I really hope, at least, a doctor becomes available for you so you can, perhaps, try the medication you spoke of. Sending good vibes. Hugsz.
...you gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.
"Daisy, may I ask why you're holding Miss Sybil's biscuit jar?"