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post #3 of (permalink) Old 09-06-2019, 10:37 PM
ssɐlƃ ƃuᴉʞool ǝɥʇ ɥƃnoɹɥ┴
zonebox's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Florida, Oosa
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,181
My Mood: Inspired
Nostalgia can be a pain, thankfully I have been keeping a journal for over twenty years now, and can see all of those good times I recall were often filled with turmoil There were no periods that I can think of, that superseded others. The entirety of my life has been a mishmash of good and bad, chaotically mixed up. Overall, I think it has been pretty decent though, I definitely complain a lot less now than I did in my earlier twenties, but that is probably because I have come to realize that complaining about things doesn't do anything for me, it doesn't solve whatever problems I am having.

I have moments where I am feeling at my best, like a couple of days ago - I woke up and just felt this awe inspiring sensation wash over me, it was as though everything was going to be okay. It was temporary, lasting on for a few minutes, but I did experience it. I get those every now and then, I also have moments where I feel depressed. Usually, I just feel somewhere in the middle. I can drone on and on about it, because I find emotions to be so absolutely fascinating. I'll spare you and others though

When I look back to my past, I have these little pockets of happy moments that stick out beyond others. But I don't think I have ever had a period in my life, where it had stayed consistent for a long period of time, not over any other period of time in my life. I would have to say, right now, I am probably feeling better than I have throughout my life, but that is just because I understand my emotions better now, I know how to manipulate them, I have become accustomed to them, and know how to avoid the pitfalls of prolonged agony. Who is to say that won't change though? I still keep up with my journal, perhaps in another twenty years I will have another outlook on it all.

Live and let live
"Whoever fights monsters should
see to it that in the process he does not become a
monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss,
the abyss will gaze back into you."

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