I know this is very hard to take it but I found out on the 27th of this month that my brother committed suicide. He's been dealing with severe depression for a very long time and couldn't deal with the pain anymore. My older brother was very funny and made everyone laugh. I have so many found memories of him. He took me to my first Deftones concert when I was just in the 7th grade. I admired him and I wanted to play the guitar because of him. Because of his death, I feel like I'm in a dream state and I keep feeling as if I will hear from him again. Please anyone who's dealing with this kind of thing, please talk to somebody and reach out. I'm absolutely devastated by this. My mother has been bawling for days now and my brother isn't speaking to anyone. It's affecting my entire family.
I wish my brother could have gotten the help he needed but he didn't want to burden anyone. This is why I haven't been around lately. I will try to check the Forum to write back to people, but if you want to chat with me, I'll be on Skype. I just didn't want any of my friends on here to think I'm avoiding them. For a very long time I've been depressed myself and haven't been reaching out to people as much. Now I'd like to try to reach out more and communicate better with others. I wish I could write more to this, but all I keep thinking about is my brother and just hoping he will come back.... but I know that won't ever happen. I never would have thought he would have done this.