Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - So how do you get out of depression?
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post #19 of (permalink) Old 08-12-2019, 01:24 PM
MagneticMetal
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 2
I posted an answer to your question but I have some more info to add, which may help you.

The first thing you need to discover is that depression is not a brain condition, or an illness or anything biological, nor is it something that "happened to you" (or to anyone else) by something that is external to your mind.
What we call depression is a self-created form of suffering (as all suffering is). Suffering is mind pain, as opposed to physical pain, which is not suffering, although people do mix these things up, such as when they are physically hurt in a car accident, for example.

Your suffering is most likely to have come about because you have come to believe in (and given attention to) certain thoughts, such as beliefs, opinions, stories, narratives, ideas, what others have said, or done, and/or other thoughts.
So to end your depression, you need to ask a couple of questions about each thought that comes to your mind, and then when you see that each thought is not true, you can then choose to disbelieve it.
Ask how do I know this thought is true?
Where is the evidence?
Is this thought a fact that is indisputable?
Please note that evidence has to be something that exists in reality, not what exists in your mind.
So, evidence is only what you can see, hear, touch, taste and smell.

Do this short process for every thought you have, no matter what the thought is.

I'd recommend that you write each thought down when it comes to you and then when you have time, you are alone, without any noise and distractions, attend to each thought.
You can give as much time as you wish to your thoughts , but its best not to rush through the questions.

You might be asking yourself, "What happens if I find out that the thought is true and valid?".
The answer to that is you won't find any thought you have to be true or valid or find any evidence for it, as all thoughts all false and invalid. You will not find any actual evidence, for any thought, belief, idea, opinion, etc., because thoughts only exist in the mind and not in reality. Thus, all thoughts only exist because people want them to exist.

Please note that when I use the term thoughts, it means non-functional thoughts only.
Functional thoughts are OK and do not cause any suffering.
Functional thoughts are those that serve a function/purpose, such as "What shall I buy at the grocery store?", or "What shall I wear today?", or "What route should I take to go to....", or "How do I fix....", etc.

Once you start to see that each thought is only true because you came to believe it to be true, you will begin to feel your suffering reducing. You can of course continue to believe something is true, even after you have proved to yourself that it is not true. This is your choice and so in this sense, suffering is a choice.

Please be sure that nothing outside of your mind (this includes people and what they say/think and do, plus all kinds of relationships with people), events, circumstances, job/no job, money/no money, location, your age, the past) can cause you to suffer. By the same token, nothing outside of your mind can bring you happiness and peace. Both are an impossibility.
You can easily see for yourself that this is true, when you ask "Is everyone with one or more of these things free from suffering? Do people who have, say, $100K, $500K, $5 million, etc, stop trying to make more money? Do professional sportspeople stop trying to win games and championships when they get their first one? Do people who own a home/car stop wanting a larger one, a "better" one, a second one?
No, they don't because they believed that getting any of those things would bring them happiness/peace. or some other belief.
When they attain that goal, they get a intense and short shot of pleasure. But this does not last and the excitement soon fades. Just like a new toy for a child does. Thus, they think "I need to get more/bigger/better", etc.. and so they go on to aim for some new goal and so the cycle repeats.

I can send you links to videos that may also help you to understand the above.
PM me if you want the links.
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