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post #29 of (permalink) Old 07-30-2019, 03:09 PM
SorryForMyEnglish
Self-absorbed but it's ok
 
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
LOL - For me, this is one of the biggest reasons therapy can feel like a waste of time and money.

I've been starting to take written notes with me that I read which forces me face the emotions driving image A when I'm in a therapy session and become image B.
Sorry, but I'm sort of glad to hear someone else is the same way because I have the same issue. Also glad that you seem to have found the way that helps you to express your emotions and be emotionally open. I actually found this picture on my therapist's social media page lol It's 100% about me and maybe about some of her other clients too.

I also do that, but I also have many doubts about the therapist and it prevents me from opening up as well as other things... Last times I was just sharing these doubts with her and it helped me to open up a bit more. Then there was a session where I expressed frustration about the fact that I don't see her reacting to stuff I'm saying to her and she gave me her feedback that it's better not to say anything at all and she would be present and involved in this silence then than just to say things for the sake of using the time (I share lots of stuff that happens to me and most of it is important as if it's a church confession, but I'm not emotional when I do that and when she tries to ask me questions about it I don't open up emotionally). She actually created a metaphor and said that it felt like I'm a mother who brought my child to therapy, the child is disinterested and silent and the mother tries to fill that time with talking to the therapist herself because she feels uncomfortable. Then I made a pause and started to talk about something more random, but what was actually on my mind at that time and she shared something about herself when I asked her about that topic and I shared my opinion too. I started to perceive her more as an equal person to me and next session I opened up much much more also because I was writing something to her before in an emotional state (she told me I could do that) and she started to mirror those emotions.

It was my last session so hopefully it continues to be this way because only that will help me to progress. I only had about 3-5 sessions like this in total. Other ones were just me saying lots of stuff at once briefly and superficially without any emotional attachment to it and ''I don't know''s and etc And I've been in therapy for almost two years now. I don't have sessions as often as it would probably be better for me though (I have them twice a month). But so does almost everyone else. And just like what Catechumen said, lots of people who also need it so badly and even more than me can't afford it at all so I'm very lucky so far.

Sorry not sorry
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