Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - What interests you about people
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post #11 of (permalink) Old 07-16-2019, 07:23 PM
lily
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Language: English
Posts: 763
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erroll View Post
I think that building and maintaining friendships might be founded on a general interest and curiosity of one person towards another.

Maybe I'm always too concerned with myself to be able to think of the other person. But if I manage, on occasion, to pry my thoughts away from me, what should I find interesting about the other person?

Do I look for similarities and/or differences in personality and interests? Do I look for characteristics that I admire in the other person? And there must be some kind of interpersonal magic that people use to suss out these characteristics in others. I mean, they can have what appears to me to be a boring casual conversation, yet they appear to have gotten some deeper meaning out of it. And when I try to achieve meaningful conversation, people look at me like I'm speaking a different language.

So what draws you into another person's life? What interests you about a stranger, enough that you would seek social engagement with that person. How does one make social interactions meaningful and supportive, or at least, make them seem less of a burden?
I don't think I'd get along w/ someone who is picky with conversation, even little things can have meaning too, it doesn't mean you don't talk about them, as well as other more important things, etc. What would you consider is a meaningful conversation?
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