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post #2 of (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 09:50 AM
ssɐlƃ ƃuᴉʞool ǝɥʇ ɥƃnoɹɥ┴
zonebox's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Florida, Oosa
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,745
My Mood: Inspired
Most of my coworkers really liked me a lot, I don't think it was necessarily any interests that I have, it is just that I am very empathetic and care a lot when it comes to how I effect others. I think when people can start to understand that you really do care, and you don't want anything from them in return, they normally just gravitate toward you. Toward the beginning of a new job, people usually are distant from me, give me weird looks (What the heck does this person want from me?) but after being around me, and seeing that is just how I am to everyone, they start to realize I really don't want anything, and they like that.

I can relate, when people are nice to me it kind of puts me on edge too, there are too many people out there that use kindness as some sort of currency. By default, most people don't really care about the feelings of others, they are more self absorbed and seeking out their own interests. I don't play with social currency, I have no interest in it and want to socialize as little as possible. I'm not sure what binds most other people together, they are often talking about one another behind their backs, yet still hang out, it gets pretty confusing when it comes to their behavior, and it often seems self defeating. Perhaps it is just a primal need they have, to be around others, they provide one another that need, yet are still frustrated. It really goes beyond me the psychological reasoning behind it.

Outside of school, the only friendships I maintained, were alcohol and weed induced ones. Hanging out to get drunk or high, it grew pretty old, and after a while I stopped doing it. I would rather just drink alone, and do so If I had that desire to be around others, that would probably be my route, as well as going out places, but mostly just drinking at different places. Since then, I haven't had any friends, because that drive just isn't there. I'm kind of glad it isn't, when I see what people go through in order to be part of a social circle.

Live and let live
"Whoever fights monsters should
see to it that in the process he does not become a
monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss,
the abyss will gaze back into you."

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