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post #1 of (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 04:10 PM Thread Starter
conantheworthless
loser
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Posts: 298

What are my chances?


I really want to become independent (moving away from my parents) but at this moment I have no job, no income, no experience (I basically never worked). My mood is increasingly worsening and I feel incredibly embarrassed to be in this situation at my age. My life experience is basically non existent which makes me very anxious to talk to people, afraid that they ask me something about my private life (it mainly consists of spending time with dogs and parents).

I have no talents nor have I experience in anything except a blanc CV. I'm very very insecure and I can't sell myself at all. I tried for years but ultimately gave up, feeling much better after that decision but now it's come back to haunt me.

How realistic is it to find a steady job at my age with my "past"? I don't have a car so the job must be close to home, I prefer living in the city as that increases my chances at a job. I also don't want to " save" money by continuing to live with my parents. I want to move out the moment I have a job. It's the only way I can see myself getting better mentally. I really don't have a clue how to find a steady job (which is pretty much required if you want to rent or so I heard). I also have no idea on how to find a place to live.
I'm clueless about everything, I know it's weird at my age but it's the truth.
I really want to live alone, even if I have to scramble to pay up monthly, at least I know I'm alive then and it gives me a goal and ambition to find a better life.

I really wish I did things differently the day I graduated but my passive character decided differently. Now I feel bad mentally and physically. I often have too low blood pressure and while I want to change my life I don't think it's in my hands anymore. Who will give me a chance? It's all so expensive, I'm looking at prices on the internet and I can't possibly imagine to be able to pay up for rent. Even the smallest studios... are way out of my league. Definitely without a steady job. I'd have to go from temporary job to temporary job and considering my state of mind it can only lead to something bad (I'm pretty pessimistic at this point).

I know you guys can't help me either but perhaps someone can give me some moral support or tips I don't know. I feel like I'm at some turning point in my life for the first time ever. If I don't succeed I really don't know how it will all end, I'm extremely suicidal, I haven't tried it yet but I think about it every single day and then I get embarrassed by the thought of nobody attending my funeral (bar my immediate family), it's utterly ridiculous.

Sorry for the long text, for those who read it , thank you.
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