Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - I want people to suffer....RANT
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post #2 of (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 10:29 PM
Disheveled and Lost
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 598
Well in this society you can't even talk about suicide. Everyone wants to look and seem Ok all the time. I never attempted suicide but I had suicidal thoughts for the longest time, I still do on and off. I remember when Kurt Cobain died, I was always super depressed about it for a while, and then I realized that the lead singer of INXS who was more popular than Nirvana i think, and other rock stars also took their life and suffered the same fate. The lead singer of INXS was not the depressed loner like Kurt Cobain was, he was just heartbroken and his wife wouldn't let him see his kid. Anyway I obviously am not promoting suicide. Kurt Cobain and the band was quoted as saying at some point how everyone sees Nirvana as this screwed up depressed band and Kurt said himself he had good times. The way I see it, it is not a cowardly act necessarily, it can be but it can also be a case of your luck running out. I had a great friend for 7 years and dated my dreamgirl for 2 and a half years on and off and they were both a loonnnng time ago. I mean without those 2 people, my life kinda sucks and is pointless, I am alone all the time now for so many years. I mean in my case, it is possible my luck ran out. The most famous rich DJ ever was making like $250,000 a show in Vegas, he did house music, and was dating models, and one day decides to lock himself in a room and I think purposefully OD'd on hard drugs. Even though he is in shape, he always saw himself as the fat kid who got picked on. Basquait the painter dated a ton of women and was popular in the art scene in NYC, and lost Andy Warhol as a friend and became a lost soul and died soon after. Kurt Cobain is more of a case of him being an angry misanthrope who could not get along with people and an outcast. Other cases such as the lead singer of INXS are more cases of a person who was loved and socially competent who could not take the pain. I mean in many cases people luck runs out. I still am obviously not advocating suicide, i am just making the point that I no longer see it with the same shock and horror and sadness that I used to. The way I see life, after dating and having a few friends, is that whether I stay home and watch TV for the next 10 years or if I go out and date gorgeous women and have a bunch of friends, both will be equally stressful just in different ways. There really is no easy way out and no amount of friends or girlfriends will fix you completely or make you feel complete. Everything in life is an ongoing process and you can never be fixed 100% and just be "OK from now on" you know.

And i wish bad things on people all the time. The key is they have to deserve it. I have gone as far as cursing people in the name of Jesus Christ on the Bible, but I won't get into that right now hehe. Anyway the point is, if you want to hate or wish harm on someone, you damn well better be justified and they better deserve it, or that will come right back and bite you. I know this sounds crazy but I reason with God, if I curse someone I explain my reasons and I try to give back to and bless people and wish good on people who deserve it. You have to do some good to balance out things like that. If you just wish harm on people and don't balance it with blessing people that means that all you are is a demon in human form. There is no shame in wishing harm on people but you MUST wish harm on people who deserve it, all that is is karma
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