Originally Posted by hidingintheshadows63
Your ex sounds lovely. That's all we want I think - acceptance. My son, who also has SA has been lucky too and all his wife's family understand, accept and make efforts to make him feel at ease - for instance at family get-togethers they say he can go and read in a bedroom if it all gets too much.
I too missed out on a career. I went to a good school where nearly everyone is high achiever which makes me feel even more ashamed. I tried university and couldn't cope at all. I feel I had opportunities and failed to make the most of them.
Strange , how bipolar is more accepted than SA. I dream of a world where one could just explain it like any other handicap. As if I said "look I'm deaf" and others understand, accept and support.
Part of me would like to put an ad in the local paper suggesting meetings or social events for anyone with SA.
I couldn't make the most of my situation either. I went to a private school and did very well - I was always at the top of the class, but I left when I was 16 because I think I'd just had enough of all the study. I went to technical college for a year just to calm my father down a bit and everyone was wondering what the hell I was doing that for. I wasn't expected to just be studying at that fairly low level.
I did manage to do 2 more courses - one at what we call TAFE here - like I think what they call community college in the States, and then a degree in my late 30's. I couldn't use the degree much though because even though I got quite a good job not long after I couldn't handle it - much too stressful. I was also taking a huge amount of Xanax just to deal with it - which was working less and less the longer I used to it for - plus it caused memory loss and reduced my cognitive function in general. Things that I would have studied without hardly any effort before became more difficult. I found that very upsetting tbh.
I'm not really sure if bipolar is more accepted - I think it's maybe just more like a mental illness people may have heard of. (or maybe not) I just don't think the normal everyday person can relate to being socially anxious - not to a significant level. They might understand being a bit shy when they first meet someone new - but this is different. This stops you from progressing in life.
Maybe you could try a meetup group for SA - I used to go to one for people with anxiety/depression and I still occasionally go to a bipolar one. They can be good - it depends solely on who's there though obviously.