Originally Posted by hidingintheshadows63
That's interesting. I feel I'm almost super human strong. I've gone through so many problems because of my SA, and the SA has meant I've gone through them alone, whereas I see that normal people have help and support. Also, despite being frightened, I force myself in to social situations. In the hope (still, at 62!) that it will get easier.
So now I'm wondering why I don't tell anyone about my SA. Different reasons.
I don't tell my kids, because I don't want them to worry about their genes. I don't tell my sister, because she hates any slight deviant from "normal" . I don't tell medical services because experience has taught me they won't understand or help.
I did , once, tell a friend that people scared me and he made a silly face like a monster.
Thank you all for your replies. You're very accepting and kind.
Telling someone won't change a thing, they won't understand as you said or they will pretend to understand. Anyway you have kids etc so you've done pretty good considering your anxiety! No wonder you feel strong!
I've pretty much stopped forcing myself into social situations. Till my 30th anniversary or so I went out every weekend, lived as normally as I could but I never felt good about it. It's nerve wrecking when you have the feeling that no matter where you are or what you're doing you think people are watching every single movement you make. I remember the days very clearly, the whole club/bar was dancing their feet off and I stood still like street light, tense face, people asking me if I was high or something, never ever at ease, natural, unless I was stone cold drunk ( which is also not recommended). And then the fact that I can't understand what people are shouting in my ear, while other seem to have normal level conversations standing in the same noisy surroundings. Odd! Just thinking about it again makes all my muscles tightening up .