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post #64 of (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 07:42 AM
AffinityWing
Permanently tired
 
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: barely livings ave.
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Posts: 1,743
My Mood: Dead
It seemed like I was on the road to continuous improvement for quite awhile, but now that I lost my (albeit fast food) job I have gone back to feeling very uncertain and worried about the future. Right now, I've seen some improvements such as successfully completing two courses I failed twice in a row and learning more about myself, such as discovering an even bigger passion for Japanese and translating, after not having a single idea on what I want to do with my life.

I've also started dabbling in trying to teach myself programming, but otherwise my daily life is still quite shut in-like where most of my time is spent in bed or at my desk. So not much has changed, and I've gone back to having quite a reclusive and lethargic lifestyle My SA feels like it's gotten kind of worse again...I was at the library with my mom and I got scared approaching the man at the front desk for putting money in my account, just because there were a bunch of other people crowded around there.

At the very least I've figured myself out a little bit more and that has been invaluable to me. I'm just trying to self-teach myself a little each day in the hopes it gets me out of this cage. Everything is still quite depressing, but it provides a small relief knowing I found something I feel like working towards.



"So many resources keep me alive
Yet I don't even step outside
So many sacrifices keep me alive
Yet I don't even bother to survive."



"If you think we waste too much then you can sacrifice yourself
Don't push your values
Push your values
Onto the crowd."


Mili
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