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post #14 of (permalink) Old 06-09-2019, 04:37 PM Thread Starter
Disneywoman
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Join Date: Apr 2018
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My Mood: Worried
Quote:
Originally Posted by SofaKing View Post
I hope you find what you're looking for.
and that's the problem I can't without using dating sites and my parents don't trust dating sites or even if I DID use dating sites (I sort of do) in order to meet one of these potential "Prince Charmings" It has to be during the school year on a Wednesday I know Mom's at work all day so I can travel to either (Coffe Culture in my town or Pickering Town Centre Or the Oshawa Centre) to meet a guy for a lunch date so basically behind my parents' back. I hate having to go that route-but since my parents aren't exactly going to be match-making me up with someone and I don't think my friends will be of any help either because they HAVE someone unlike me.


My problem in trying to find a guy:
all my girlfriends been getting engaged this year the latest person (who is like 20/21-7 years younger then me and her oldest brother?) is a school's friend baby sister have gotten engaged. I have had had not even ONE boyfriend in the last 15 years (2004-present). Last fall when I was at my day-program (where dating is a 'no-no') someone else (Person A) was having problems with their boyfriend's family and Person B said that Person A should "Pray for a better boyfriend" and I just basically wanted to tell Person B off saying I been praying for ELVEN years for a boyfriend and God still hasn't sent me any.

At doctor's appoints I HATE the doctors asking me about me wanting to get pregnant. It normally didn't bother me to much but its really making me uncomfortable in real life every time I go to check in when all my friends are getting married it seems. I even had one conversation (via email) with my parents but nothing since my reply back to my parents. I have more reason then most to have a my own "other half":



I don't want to have to force my cousins/cousins' families, or my friends/friends' families or rely on a complete stranger to take care of me-when i'm around my parents' or my grandpa's age. I'm nearing 9+20 this month.

I also want some kiddos

I don't actually KNOW myself and I think I could FIND myself in Toronto but I'm not allowed to go into Toronto on my own. If I was to make plans to visit a friend in Toronto Mom has to be included in the *** plan because the "plan* would be:

Step 1:Go into Toronto w/ Mom
Step 2: Mom goes off and do something else while I meet with (Friend)
Step 3: After visit with Friend meet up with Mom again and do something







This is what been said (its from a last month)in my email: :
Me: " Dear D- Despite the fact I pretend one question wasn't awkward at the doctor. It was more awkward then it been in previously years. The question was about becoming pregnant. As you already know i want to date. I mean up until my three now engaged girlfriends were not engaged-there was basically a lock door. But now there's an unlock door that is despite need of being closed or something since my hormones are going wild-with it. Not the "marry" door but the other kind of door that can lead to the doctor's question. Not that I would want to get into bed with a guy on the first few dates. I'm not that silly. " (I had a document attached to the email) with the following:

Quote:
Reasons Why I Should Look for a Partner

How do I fill my sexual desires? NOT that I’m planning on getting into bed with the first guy or guys after the first date not until like several dates later (10th?) or later. I have a semi detailed plan about dating Not that’s its good but it’s a start at least. I will also have a list of my own flaws as well.

In the future I do not want either EXTEND Family or FRIENDS to care for me.



Nor do I want complete strangers taking care of me. Who knows what messes the governments will do between now and then?



Research for Story-writing-how am I supposed to write dating scenes in stories when I don’t have first-hand experiences? So far, my only dating knowledge comes from SimLit.



Research in case, I decide on a sperm donor and don’t have to tell the child(ren) when they come to me the future “I don’t know I never dated you have to go ask the grandparents/ go ask Aunt (Friend’s name) or Cousins (Names) about dating” /s

Mom:
D- told me about the doctor asking the question about pregnancy. It was really not a very good way for a doctor to approach the subject. As far as relationships in future, you will just have to wait and see what the future brings.* Unfortunately, neither Dad nor I have a crystal ball or psychic powers to see what might be in the months and years ahead. Know we love you very much and will try to help and support you as best we can."

Mom again:
We really don't know what to say on this subject. As far as writing about dating, etc, how do you think that men write stories from a woman's point of view or vice versa? They read books and other writings to get an idea of the point of view and attitudes of the other gender. As far as a relationship, this is not something that you can order from a store. It sometimes happens and sometimes doesn't. For lots of people, it happens but they end up very unhappy. Our suggestion would be to continue going to things like New Leaf and/or New Wind and see where life takes you. Try not to get fixated on whether or not you have a boyfriend and see where life goes. Know we love you and really want you to be happy. As far as how it will work or who will be involved in your care, those are decisions that we will be making together (you and us) in the future. Whatever that will look like, it is a long way off -- probably 20+ years in the future. Try not to worry about it. After all, you might have to spend years looking after Dad and/or me before you ever get to be on your own!**"


* with the first star that is one of the things she always says that and yet what would be really helpful if they encourage me to use online dating!! (The only other way I will meet a avaible guy is if he had an accident outside of church, bowling (sept-April), my day-program's apartment building, or my parents' house).

** the double stars are another thing she always says and like I said up above that it would be more helpful if they encourage me to use online dating. I haven't actually MEET anyone from a dating site-It came close last May but it got called off (and no I still haven't told my parents I'm on dating sites-its they should be encouraging me to find myself MY "other half' not doing the exact opposite)
)


Basically everything I I read (SimLit and other reading) , or listen too (Taylor Swift ("Shake it Off", "Wonderland", "Blank Space" and Disney songs, along with others, like Avril Lavine, Skat8boi, Complicated,) even outside of the house (ie "Dealing with people") I have to listen how Person A's has a boyfriend or Person B has a girlfriend. I Or Person C has X. I mean its gets really awkward for me I can't get into that "Dating talk" because I don't have the other half.


I do feel guilty about being on online dating sites but my parents aren't exactly trying very hard to encourage me to you know have my own life outside of bowling/day-program and volunteer work once a week. So that kind of makes it hard for me to meet people volunteering is out without Dad need to drive me who-knows-where. I would like to meet some of these people from the dating sites just so I can get started but what would I tell the parents-I know I should tell them the truth (be the honest shooter as I was-but they'll be worried about me meeting some stranger.)
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