Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - Friends that don't contact you unless you contact them first...
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post #5 of (permalink) Old 06-08-2019, 12:24 PM
SplendidBob
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: UK
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,253
Is it enjoyable when you meet up / are in contact? There isn't a principle on this imo.

In pointless equation form lol

Value of friendship = friendship positives - annoyance at contacting - value from other friendships you could put more effort in

Essentially then, how much benefit you have from the friendship should be weight up against the irritation you feel from having to do the contacting (or how bad it makes you feel they don't contact you). If you have other friends who do contact you, or that are better and you can build those, then do that. If you don't then it comes down to weighing those two things.

Before ending the friendships then, you should try communicating with those people. Ask them if they would be happy to contact you sometimes, they might simply not bother because you become known as "the organiser".

Otherwise, if it really really annoys you then the friendship isn't worth it.

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