I'm 20 now, I've been feeling like this for a long time and I know it won't go away, but, how can I at least get my life on track. For the last 4-5 months I've just been doing nothing, I was very depressed(7-9, thinking of suicide everyday) earlier in the year and slowly have tried to work past it with therapy, trying supplements/vitamins, writing, etc.
I've been feeling okay for a while(5) now and I dont really know how to get back on track. I became really isolated and haven't talked to any of my real life friends in the months I was depressed, they haven't contacted me either, which makes me feel like they aren't as close as I thought. I spend most of my days when I dont work(part time, 30hr/week) doing nothing or distracting myself with video games, YouTube, being alone for the most part.
I've tried to write some goals out or fix my problems but I've been stuck in a loop of not knowing what to do, not having a purpose or goal to work towards. Also I dropped out of school and stopped training mma earlier in the year when I started feeling really depressed since I was stuck in bed all day, and haven't really thought about either since.
I dont really know what to do or where to start. I really want to move out but it's going to really hard(live in LA) without getting another job and basically working 80hours a week. I have a lot of money saved up, and I want to travel somewhere, just to get out of where I've been for so long, I'm very tired of where I live. I just dont know what to do, or how to get my life on track.
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It's funny that you say you are sick of L.A. I mean so many people would kill to live in L.A. I am in New York City and am completely sick of it, and there is this mystique about "NEW YORK CITY" like it is some magical place. It is just a lot of rude petty people and yea there are events in NY and LA but at some point you get bored with all of it. I am guessing your friends sensed or knew you were depressed and ran for the hills. It is a sad fact of life, people will gravitate towards "fun, happy" people regardless if it is a psychiatric hospital or a bar or club. I would not take it personally. Just proves that if you want to be popular, you need to create a facade to seem happy and well-adjusted or something.
I would not bother with vitamins or supplements, they all have downsides. Vitamins leave a horrible taste in my mouth and i am convinced even vitamins have downsides, I don't want to swallow pills that have like 100 ingredients i can't pronounce. Supplements are known for having side effects. I don't know if you are on any medication but you want to be on as little extra stuff as humanly possible.
On some level you are lucky to have some time on your hands to kill watching Youtube or whatever, as bad as that is, it can't be worse than working crazy hours with an annoying boss breathing down your neck