I definitely understand where you're coming from with frustration for finding suitable people. I've been caught in that loop in the past before and also understand hospitalization.
I'm pretty much against most medications because I've had several experiences where i was put on things that made me suicidal and my life isn't a joke.
The only pharma medications hat have helped me are benzos
and unfortunate people that need them the most run into a lot of roadblocks because others abuse them.
What I am interested in finding are talk therapy, behavioral therapy, support groups in person if i can just get a little more comfortable around others and some financial assistance until i can hold a job. But, i want to start an at home business to. I have a lot of issues with exposure therapy and it has been unhelpful and causes me to have meltdowns.
It's difficult to express my needs a lot due to social anxiety and sometimes it's a bit ridiculous that the same people treating me don't remember that. I need someone to speak for me and even be with me at this point and i wasn't always that way in life.
I understand it's difficult but tell them your uncomfortable with certain meds and why. That's what I'll be doing.
Hope things pan out for you in the future.