I don't have it near as bad as you, but anxiety has made it difficult to do things in life, I have a really hard time with change and forcing myself to do new things. I think meds would make me more relaxed in some cases but I'm scared I'd get hooked on them or messed up. As for therapists I've never been comfortable with talking to anyone about how I truly feel so I avoid that all together. Family keeps me from it too, they don't really believe in anxiety, they just think its all in your head, I guess I've been conditioned to not want that 'label'.
I've heard the it's all just in your head thing but personally this is something I've struggled with majority of my life. I don't think its just in my head especially since I've succumbed to substance abuse in an attempt to self medicate.
I definitely hate talking about how i feel and that's pretty normal for most people in general but is something I've seen as looked down upon for men to do especially. If people just listened instead of made judgments the world would be a better place.
This judgment alone triggers my disorder and its something i have always expected which has hindered my ability to trust others and seek help. I just am at the point where if i don't talk and continue doing what i'm doing i may not be around much longer.