Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - Constantly Feeling Guilty
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post #7 of (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 03:04 PM
Great White Shark
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mars
Language: Galactic Basic, machine language
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Posts: 546
Guilt is usually caused by a perfectionist attitude; I should know, since in my childhood I was in the same shoes. Every time I displeased someone, including myself, I felt this nagging knot in my stomach. I still do sometimes, but I've learned to relax the tension almost immediately. I can choose not to feel guilt whenever I want easily.

Here is a few things understanding which can help a lot:

1) As tropey as it sounds, it is all in your head. There is no objective fact of you failing someone, including yourself; there is just your interpretation of what happened. Force a different interpretation, and the guilt will disappear.
2) Nobody is perfect, and nobody is supposed to be perfect. No matter how good a person you are, you will fail someone every now and then. There is no point ruminating over those instances; just shrug, take a note and move on.
3) If you really feel guilty and can't deal with it, just talk to the person who you feel you are failing and tell them how you feel. Most likely your mother doesn't even realize that you have these feelings; opening up to her will bring you a lot of relief, and you will receive a useful feedback on your behavior.
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