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post #1 of (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 06:05 PM Thread Starter
Barakiel
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Join Date: Oct 2013
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Evening dread/unease/anxiety


Ever since last summer, I've been regularly getting these feelings starting at evening or at night (at one point last December it could start as early as 2-3 pm). At its worse, it completely colors my mood. Books and video games are unable to distract me, and I only feel like going to bed.

I jotted down some of the types of thoughts I get when this happens:

Quote:
I've had this anxiety at different points in life about how the world is able to function like it does. How do restaurants reliably stay in stock of all the needed ingredients? How do small, specialty stores stay in business? How are composers able to write new music (and what if we're running out of ideas for new music?) How do academic and scientific fields not run out of research to do?
Generally, if I find something impressive or awe-inspiring during the day, it just makes me feel anxious and overwhelmed at night. I worry over my lack of progress and how life seems to be passing me by as well.

I also feel more sensitive, sympathetic, and guilty over things. I was trying to play a Spiderman game for the first time and at first I couldn't stop thinking about how he possibly has enough web-cartridge to be swinging around for so long, then I felt bad for beating up the bad guys. It felt like such a negative thing to be doing (I've played Team Fortress 2 for years and I've had plenty of laughs from the dark humor that arises from normal gameplay).

Getting an increase in buspirone helped most for about a week or two. I started taking Zoloft again amount a month ago and got an increase to 100mg a few days ago, and I'm hoping that does away with it entirely. Though I don't think it's as bad as it used to be thankfully.

Can anybody else relate? I feel like the part about being sensitive and guilty is something strange or oddly specific, though at the same time it wouldn't surprise me if someone out there has experienced that as well.
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