Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - Most of us have childhood traumas
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post #15 of (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 07:44 AM Thread Starter
Self-absorbed but it's ok
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Originally Posted by millenniumman75 View Post
Forgiveness is really the best revenge. it lets you go of the pain, but does NOT let the other person off the hook. They will get theirs; you will be free.
What do I see here? I see some relatively adaptive Christian mental gymnastics.

Originally Posted by andy1984 View Post
sometimes you just have to accept the way you are and look for a place in the world where you can find peace.

I don't know about forgiveness. I can accept the facts. idk how to act on them. can't change the past.
There's no such place in this world and I will not accept it because it's too severe. It's either I cure it or I die because I don't want a meaningless life. I ''can't change the past'', but that doesn't mean I'm doomed to let it affect me forever and not to change internally. It can only be changed with the help of safe relationships that are unfortunately mostly possible only in therapy. People don't have to be rigid, they're capable of change. They can't change the way their parents affect them only in childhood, when they depend on their parents entirely. But the minset of the parents doesn't have to haunt you forever. When you grow up you realize the imperfections and immaturity of parents and it's extremely painful during some time. It's only when you were a child you didn't know anything better and they were an authority for you.

Please speak for yourself, not in the form of ''advices'' for others.

Sorry not sorry
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