Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - nobody seems to be able to engage in "meta" discourse
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post #1 of (permalink) Old 03-19-2019, 04:30 AM Thread Starter
versikk
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: paraspectral_semireality?
Gender: Other
Age: 32
Posts: 5,788

nobody seems to be able to engage in "meta" discourse


i'm referring to talking about behaviors and phenomenons that people exhibit, WITH those same people.

i have tried to the best of my ability to make people i talk to "reach my level", but it's just impossible. Some have been close, but no cigar.

Being able to have a friend/lover/sibling/coworker/whatever that you can talk to about their own behaviors.

like if i'm annoying someone, instead of telling me to stop doing annoyance X, they'll just ignore me or do something else to cope with it. even if i'd tell them that i have a habit of annoying people and please tell me if i'm annoying,they won't do it.

people are also , by the same token, unable to talk about themselves. i can't ask someone how they prefer to be greeted, or treated in any way, for that matter. like for example, my new coworker, has their birthday tomorrow. i want to ask if they give a crap about birthdays so i now whether to wish them a happy bday or not. but asking such a question is too meta for basically everyone and it'll short circuit their brains.

there was a person i talked to for a few months online. he was super intuitive and always called me out whenever he noticed if i was being hypocritical or anything else,and i would respond in kind. so we'd evolve each other by pointing out each others faults and discussing our personal improvements, with each other, about each other. sadly he was also a douchebag so i had to cut him off, but he was , in a way, my ideal friend.

it seems like if i want to deal with person X's tendency to do Y behavior, i have to vent to person Z and get advice from them on how to handle person X, instead of just addressing behavior Y directly with person X.

hastily composed thread because my lunch break is over and i hope to be able to expound on this when i get home.

i really wish to have people like this in my life.
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