My current stage is more apathetic but for a handful of projects I keep telling myself that if I died tomorrow I'd hate to have them incomplete...lol Really though, I've been prone to depressive episodes forever. Right now I'm doing okay except isolation has always been a problem--feeling cut off from others even when they're surrounding me. When it gets in my head that I don't matter, I can look around and that's all the proof I need convincing me it's true. And then the reality of not having real friends or close family to share with. It's not easy staying "okay" and fine once I finally get to that point.