Well, I used to be content and sort of happy most of the time. But I think something began happening in my brain. I started to not sleep well and have racing thoughts (this was at my old job). It started happening last summer. Then when I left the job and everything spiraled out of control, I hit rock bottom. I just feel awful every day. Physical pain even. Tired to the point I feel like passing out at points.
I do tell my husband everything, but he doesn't understand. He just tells me to go see a therapist. I'm afraid to see a therapist because if it doesn't help, I'm going to go into a deeper depression and feel even more like life is hopeless and meaningless.
I know I have good things in my life, I'm a very grateful person for those things. But I always think about how one day they will end. On top of that SA is never going to be curable. Now I have this depression/ADHD whatever it might be going on and making things worse. I stopped taking birth control in hopes that was causing a lot of my issues. But I don't know yet.
Hmm i have no idea what that could be. Maybe you could explain more? If it is physical problems then you should see a doctor. If it is mental issues and emotional problems, then trust me i have found out that we have a great extent of control over our psyche(mind, emotions, thoughts). You can decide to not let anything affect your happiness. It is hard to do at first since the brain is wired to react emotionally to problems, but with time you will realize that you can learn to not feel bad over things and to have true happiness that does not depend on anything.
Hmm sorry that he doesnt understand. A lot of people lack the ability to fully understand us emotionally. Maybe a deep talk would get him to be more understandable/supportive? Is there any way you can fight your depression? Find a passion, indulge in enjoying the things you have in life, etc. What i do is i tell myself that there is no need to let things depress me. It doesnt really help since depression is more hard-wired into our thinking than anger or frustration, but reminding yourself that depression is pointless really helps you to be less depressed about a lot of things.
Yeah everything will end one day but we cant change that, we can only accept it and flow with it. And who knows, maybe there is an afterlife. There are some pretty decent cases for religion you know. I find if i have a lot of crazy/racing thoughts, which seems like what you might have, i just let go of the urge to control them and i flow with life.