Thats exactly how I feel!! I know this isn't me. Its crazy how controlling anxiety is, how much it takes over your life and influences the decisions you make. I hid for so long that I feel like I just don't know how to put myself out there anymore. I have reached out for help, and I actually am currently seeing a therapist, I've had about 3-4 sessions. It is helping a little bit for sure. I just still feel imprisoned by my own mind.
Thank you so much for saying these things, it does help tremendously, especially hearing from people who have experience social anxiety themselves. I hope this doesn't last forever and I'm sure it won't if I work hard towards fighting it, which I'm dedicated to doing.