I used benzos for ages - long before this site or the internet was even thought of. They were great at first - like a Godsend actually, I would go into a sort of dream world. I used them for a long time to do various things - courses etc, got married on them - whatever. Then they start to **** with your memory - and the dose goes up. I had to go to rehab about half a dozen times to get away from them and felt like my brain was mush.
I then used Lexapro and Citalopram - they are not too bad but totally different. They took the edge of the anxiety a bit - made me slightly indifferent, spaced out, and made me eat like a ****ing horse
. I would open the cupboard and just ingest whatever was inside it.
The strange thing about the SSRI's was that when I stopped them and restarted them I would often get a different response. Now I can't take them at all - the citalopram I took a while ago made me feel very strange and not want to leave the house - it sort of made me worse.
*****! I wish citalopram had that effect on me, I have a very low appetite and thus am pretty skinny, and often have low energy. I've been trying to eat more healthily but those foods r so filling it just murders my appetite more than junk food...
First 2 weeks of citalopram did do a number on my sleep though...I'd wake up at 3am and wouldn't be able to go back to sleep
Cognitive distortions are a hallmark... Thoughts are often self-defeating and inaccurate... My mind in a nutshell...