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post #4 of (permalink) Old 03-20-2016, 01:17 PM
Depo
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Earth's last days
Age: 32
Posts: 715
My Mood: Devilish
Medication is the only thing that has helped me ease my health anxiety. When I look back at the person I used to be before taking meds, I think about all the pain that health anxiety had caused me. I was 100% sure I had cancer and every little symptom was the beginning of a terrible disease. An eye tick that wouldn't go away and hyperalgesia in my arms = brain cancer, chronic abdominal pain and bleeding = colon cancer/chrohn's disease, a new mole I wasn't aware of = melanoma.

My health anxiety got to the point I could barely function at work, sometimes I had to ask permission in order to leave early (because I was feeling intense abdominal pain), panic attacks that would make think about death and bouts of crying that wouldn't stop. My bf (whom I used to live with) started to think I was crazy, said I was exaggerating. It was madness. I felt that my own body was my worst enemy. I thought I was losing my mind, obsessing over these symptoms which occupied my mind day and night.

Then I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me benzos and it all stopped. It didn't stop at once, but suddenly I found myself not caring about the diseases.

I even have a tiny flesh-colored bump on my cheek (less than 1 mm in diameter) which I'm pretty sure is basal-cell carcinoma (the most common form of cancer in the human body, but is not lethal), that hasn't healed for over 2 years and I need to use corticoesteroid cream in order to keep it at bay (I can barely see it when I look at the mirror.) because if I don't use it it starts to feel itchy. A dermatologist told me it was just a wart, but I don't think so. It hasn't grown in size, but even when I think about surgery (if I ever need it), I don't feel anxious about it. But it was meds that took me out of that hole, which IMO is worse than SA.
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