Why are seemingly normal people arriving to tell us that they look cool..?
You can't tell a schizophrenic to quit acting the fool.
Being insecure is normal. Anxiety is a normal thing. Everybody suffers anxiety. Just if it's your appearence, you can't leave it behind at the end of the day. Intuitively they aren't as aware, thus not having even the scope for the imagined problem. Everything has to be shiney and nice now. We sit at home watching the pretty images fill are heads.that everybody is gorgeous by comparison. Actors are symmetrical, easy on the eye. The bad guy is always less attractive. We've been sold this tale.
I find the worst thing is, when, if I do go out the people around me are always happier by default ...or are they. They might look nice but maybe their boyfriends been cheating on them.. They have something to hurt over also. Or like most people, they're spending their time worrying more about others. I know that's pointless advice when you're like we are. But you need to aim back to the days when you were free from the inhibitions
I thought I'd cough up some hard earned experience. Although I urge all of you to really dig deep into your memories, what you want from life. The earliest humiliation (you might have it repressed from years back) you encountered. We trap this stuff in and still hold it relevant for years. When sometimes, if brought to life - hard as it is when you're trawling over old wounds, you will feel release. Maybe hurt, yes likely hurt. To what degree depends on your experience etc. I sat and wrote my story from earliest character defining moment to 19yrs old. I'm 31 now. I'd written 60 pages of thoughts, perception and not even made it out of my teens in history. I had enough ammo to question my sanity over the pain of feeling hideous. Something worse is the thought of not only being worse looking but a weak man also. So I have a reason to fight the negative. I had to dig alone to find that emotional leverage. It's a "key". Find it and run with it.
I'm positive if you make careful organised steps, maybe some meds to balance you back out a little. Take the edge off the culture shock.
You'll no doubt read this and do all the things any anxiety related sufferer does and make excuses as to why years alone and unhappy is easier than trying to seek some mind strengthening tips. And that if I'm so positive I can't possibly be as bad. Half of my life being weaker than everybody. All our lives spent worrying about school exams and the future. When is religious education going to be replaced by psychology...
They have Sunday school anyway..
There's no denying that we're as deluded as somebody seeing or hearing things. Have you ever looked at anybody and physically not wanted them near you??
I'd hope not. And I'd say no myself. So why do we feel that's how were perceived by others?
These forums seem like a place to go and reassure yourself that you're not well. Everybody sat around just celebrating the fact that they aren't alone. Some other poor fella sat at the other end. Your brain didn't stop growing when you left school. You trained it to go wrong. Nobody is ugly to everybody. Those who slander people with the term are usually helplessly making their own way through life, not understanding the long lasting pain in the words. They might not be very good at football, so they pick on the small kid to make up for the shame. Deep down, that lad interprets his problem worse than the bullying he/she inflicts. From my experience, the early reactions to the environment around me, made me perceive myself in this way. We might have made some poor friend choices where 4 of the 5 girls we're mean and you were nice. You grow up with them, they most likely let you down so many times and/or just hurt you terribly. Leaves you wondering if maybe only your family are ok and that all people are mean by nature and you just can't deal with the hurt.
The only difference between you and them is that you consider it worse than anything apart from dying maybe?
Fight or flight...
We don't need it anymore really. We've still got it in us, so some of us display it for the next best fear.. Our lives and our purpose.
I should say, I'm by no means Symmetrical. I have an eyelid that droops on my left side, although this is my best side. Straight on is my issue. No human interaction without dreaded intensity. Not just the opposite sex like we should, but with everybody. Family etc... Like if I was stripped naked at that moment it would feel no worse. I've had addictions my entire life. Running from negative criticism. HSP (highly sensitive person). We've all judged others at some point or another. Be it for their dress sense, how they are behaving, even if they are friends or strangers. We're all analysing these things everyday. Prejudice is alive in us just as the blood that flows. BDD sufferers if caught early, could perhaps be shown the errors in their thinking. I believed I was just a little sensitive. I knew I had issues physically, but to what degree..
I once read that if you don't like making eye contact usually there is an underlying problem.
Having spent millions of minutes studying myself and realising certain things at certain intervals of my life and the suffering caused, I've realised things get so bad you can't recover. Time can heal. If you can somehow find peace or retreat from any anxiety for a block period. Allow your natural emotions to rekindle inside. You'll feel things you've forgotten existed. A smell you'd forgotten. Like the beginning of summer.
I'd like to clear up the inverted mirror image. It distorts your face because it's not following gravity in the second reflection i.e your reflection in a single mirror is first reflection. Mirror put to mirror is second reflection. If you flip a photo of something. The smallest detail in the image that is taking to gravity i.e all of it mostly will fall at an unnatural angle. I do hope people understand because I'm sure this image hurts young minds that are used to watching the brad Pitts and Jennifer anistons that they forget people in general aren't that attractive anyway.
So you've created this world of low self esteem. Custom made to your own design. You're so right in you're belief, you just do what you can to get by. This means leading a hermit like existence. That when you go out, you see the gorls who are happy and VIBRANT. Now you feel doubly worse. No point getting done up when the thing that matters can't be changed. It's a self written prophecy people. Notice the signs! Don't question if you are ugly or not! You'll never be thought of as badly as you're imagining. Never! I think the 'Alien' has better skin than me. Something we fret over for 20 mins in the mirror, average joe on the street wouldn't even pay you any mind anyway.
2 hours ago I felt terrible. Decided I needed to vent. I feel better, I know I'll suffer in the hours to follow though.
Get inspired, stop trawling the internet for self help. I'm always here. And I'm full of opinion..shocker!
You have to search for something about you that you do love. Maybe you've covered your face in hair for years thinking you looked better. But deep down you're cheating with your hair. Try a haircut that requires little mirror time. So you can brush your teeth and go out. Try to only check how you look when you're definitely at your best. People with confidence remember an image of themselves at their best. Blind bliss for some ay! I'll remember the 1 thing that's bad and it consumes my head!
Don't get bogged down with trying to confirm that the mirror inverted is how you look. You don't! If you have asymmetry and you've likely seeked the 2 mirrors only to be disgusted at the monstrosity of it.. when you first began to question your indentity, you'd have been hanging all miserable. That and the new face you're seeing combined with not really knowing what you look like. You can only go by fact: the 2 mirrors and that horrible thing that person said once..
Those thoughts needed putting right the moment you looked at your reverse image. Trauma is my only description of the emotion that I feel thinking back. Or if I check a photo of me from a significant period of time ago I would look symmetrical to the point of normal. If check the snap the moment after taking it, I'll be horrified. I'd felt ok for a short period last year. Felt some emotion, felt for me. I looked into my eyes and actually began to get some identity and hold to it. Nobody is that ugly. We want to not be ugly so much on the outside that we screw up everything else..
Who are you judging yourself with when you see yourself. When I feel low, I actually have to video myself to get some comfort. Still shots are not flattering face on and the mirrors are what got me here. Before the days of smartphones. Or checking yourself on some poor 1.3mp camera phone.
Comparing yourself is the worst also. Just as you fooled yourself to feel bad. Fool yourself to be totally unaware of yourself as anything but a product of nature.
Search high and low for things that give you a sense of well being. Get inspired. Want to want things from the world again.
Apologies if this is complete nonsense to read. I welcome thoughts and opinions
Good luck and think positive.