Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.
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post #59 of (permalink) Old 02-27-2012, 09:16 PM
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Originally Posted by radiancia View Post
This. As you'll all know, its not really possible for the human mind to just go 'okay its over and done'. What you need to do is find peace and resolution with what happened before. When you continue to ruminate over a certain thought its because theres still something there you havent resolved. You need to get to a point where you've realized what went wrong, how you'd do it better, and finally forgive yourself. The problem is sometimes we get stuck because we dont know the answers to those things...which is why they continue to plague us. But once you resolve those issues, things naturally fade into the past because we are truly done with them.
I can agree with that... but... how can someone resolve an issue when their only source for the answer and resoultion will not reveal itself?

More specifically, I have never let go my parents divorce. Long story short, they divorced when I was 4, and I grew in my mothers custody seeing my father every other weekend. And the custody agreement ended when I turned 18. So, when I do the math, over the 14 year period that my parents were divorced, I only say my father for 4 years. There's a whole lot more to this part of my life, but that's the basics.

I've asked my parents if they would tell their reasons, but they both just blame the divorce on each other. Also, I'm afraid knowing the truth would hurt me more than it would help me. Sure, I could forget about their divorce, but I wouldn't look or feel the same about them again.

How can I get over this part of my past when I don't truly know why it happened?
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