I feel like burden to my (vary few) friends
Ok I'm not that great of a guy to know or talk with, I can never really have a conversation to began with, but when I do talk its all doom and gloom. I don't wanna bring my friends down with all my negativity, when I wanna talk with them I never do because I know all I will say is how fu*ked up my life is. As result of always being a failure, always messing up in life, that's all I can ever think about, I can never just talk or even think about anything else. If I'm not upset about something that went wrong, I'm worrying about what will go wrong next. Who wants to talk to a guy who can never shut up about how sh*ty his life is. I'm not a vary good friend to began with, but I try, but I always feel that I should just withdraw completely because I can never be a friend to anyone. If I'm not avoiding talking to them because I think that's the best for everyone, I'm constantly messaging them and worrying about what I did wrong. An obsessive nature + extreme impatients, is not a good combination. I know my friend's care about me, atleast I assume and hope they do, but how much of me can a person take. I already hate me, how long till my friend's feel the same way. I have loses to many of them, im always worrying about that. I don't think I can actually be friends with people. Why else would things fu*k up so much. I have no clue why I'm even bothering with this but anyway its here.