Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - anxiety techniques
View Single Post
post #40 of (permalink) Old 03-20-2011, 02:22 AM
Neil75
SAS Member
 
Neil75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: London
Gender: Male
Posts: 18
There's a lot of good stuff here, but I would urge everyone to take this bit with a large pinch of salt:

Quote:
If sexual situations make you unconfortable you might try phone sex, then a strip club and you might try a even get yourself a lap dancer. Then finally you can go all the way and get a prostitute.
Seeking sex like this is very likely to make your SA 10x worse. First of all, the relationship with a prostitute or lapdancer is a financial one. Hollywood is full of myths about hookers with hearts of gold, but the reality is likely to be a cold, emotionless transaction with a high likelihood of making you hate yourself even more in the aftermath.

To make matters worse, the experience could, on a physical level, be addictive. You could end up stuck in a cycle of using prostitutes to satisfy your physical urges without nourishing your emotional needs and your feelings of self worth will plummet. You could also end up being deterred from seeking a 'proper' relationships as your physical needs are being (kind of) met.

Whereas your SA means you probably imagine that in normal life a woman hates you, there is every chance that a prostitute really does hate you. Particularly if she's suffered abuse in her past as many of them have. So ask yourself this: do you really want to be another part of her ongoing misery? Do you really want sex with someone who hates you anyway?

We all have sexual needs and desires, but sex shouldn't be an end in itself. It should be part of an intimate loving relationship. You will not get that with a prostitute.

I know that initiating contact with women isn't easy, but believe it or not they're not the unattainable, castrating maneaters some guys think they are. If you have problems approaching women, you just need to work on your confidence a bit and discover that rejection ain't the worse thing that can happen - it's quite easy to be knocked back and maintain your dignity!

Thanks to the internet there are loads of opportunities to meet women who share similar interests to you. Loads of women even suffer from the same confidence issues as us men too. Hell, this site should have a dating section!

Using a prostitute as a substitute is just a way of avoiding your problems. It certainly won't help you deal with them.

Good luck!
Neil75 is offline  
 
 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome