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  • · Banned
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    I'm back.... I had a UFO. rub me out for 3 weeks. To bad they don't do sexual experiments anymore, they said you humans are too nasty and were enjoying it too much. Previous abductees were steeling their probes, and their home planet cut their supply off with equipment cutbacks !!

    · Banned
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    I am at the same place as you, I am getting ready to take a break too. I am getting depressed seeing all this gooy self pity. I wish I would get abducted, even a captor would be some company. But they wouldn't want me long either, I'm too weird !!

    · Banned
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    1,874 Posts
    So tell me something about yourself, your closer to my age than any other of the people here. Or are you one of those mysterious types ??? I might like that... I don't know ? Women with long knives can ONLY be good in movies, in real life it doesn't end well for the guy !!

    · Anti-Social
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    450 Posts
    I feel similarly, usually when people talk to me irl I get bored and blank out 20 seconds in but I fully find that this forum is alot more engaging and the level of conversation is good. The advice is sometimes very practical too.

    · Registered
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    3,030 Posts
    Well first of all it sounds as if you're morally scrupulous... in a good way. Try not to be too hard on yourself, though! I and several others I know-- one other here is kesker, another is a r/l friend of mine, have been grappling with this question of whether to develop (or keep) Face or just be raw and present as is, everywhere with everyone.

    Other terms I find interesting: stigma management and compartmentalization.

    Understanding compartmentalization I think it is easier to see how the vast majority of people do not give attention to total integrity and aligning all facets of themselves and their lives with their core values. Compartmentalization used to be touted as a positive thing for people who wish to function highly. I can hear my mom now "you *have* to learn to compartmentalize. most people compartmentalize" apparently I hold myself to a much higher standard! Didn't know that until recently, as I had always been so down on myself.

    · Anti-Social
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    450 Posts
    hello true colour :) Im fine and yeah I have found the forums and site pretty usefull so far, how are you doing?

    · Registered
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    3,030 Posts
    So how do you see this whole thing manifesting in your life? A couple of ideas from sociology class years ago-- looking-glass self and generalized other-- also come to mind.

    I often feel this amazing breezy freedom and quiet when I am able to drop thought of others. But as soon as thoughts of others enter my mind, everything tightens up and becomes a prison again.

    · Registered
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    I have started to feel incredibly imprisoned by my ideal self, realized I've gotten myself into quite a mess with the former self I wanted to project... and am rethinking what public face means to me. I certainly do need some filters and manners at this point. And I can't force what I want others to think of me on them. I have to be strong enough in my core to accept non-acceptance because people can do whatever they want. If I were a socialite, living in a very formal society or a politician or someone with an important public image (where the public actually thanks you for managing their perceptions of you!!), I'd be in a totally different situation. But I'm just lil ol me living in a society where no one really cares about formalities. I'm nobody important.... I wanted to be, but not anymore I don't think.

    · Registered
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    3,030 Posts
    I am very interested in this topic... from another angle though... from the angle of the internal compulsion to check myself against the expectations of others... so... you and me both (want to know more.)

    I have a bit of OCD and so I put part of the situation down to a mental compulsion called mental checking.

    Now, something big has changed for me since I wrote that blog-- especially after I've lived in another country and had a baby. I found it difficult to try to manage others' perceptions of me in the first place. But my anxiety wouldn't let me stop. I used to do it by omission I think. I don't seem to have game face or any sort of filters now. I'm just... here, how I am. So I avoid people instead.

    · Banned
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    1,874 Posts
    Oh you don't have to feel nervous will me, I'm just a big lap kitty...Purrrr ! Why do you think we all talk on a web site ?? Real people freak us out !! I got quite a story to share with you, and I will have you laughing in no time. I have a vary unique view on life..... You see we are the sane ones, we are just smart enough to stay away from the wacko's of the world.... I think we scare them !!

    · Banned
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    1,874 Posts
    I saw you visited but didn't say hi, so I thought I would. I read your introduction This is scary, and I know how that feels. If you ever want to talk, I am on here allot, don't really have a real life.

    · Banned
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    1,594 Posts
    So you think you've had a lot of social exposure, you just have a deeper issue with yourself?

    · Banned
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    1,594 Posts
    Your logic is flawed. As you expose yourself you become more confident, therefore you DON'T CARE about rejection. So it still leads to less concern about having been rejected.
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