Well first of all it sounds as if you're morally scrupulous... in a good way. Try not to be too hard on yourself, though! I and several others I know-- one other here is kesker, another is a r/l friend of mine, have been grappling with this question of whether to develop (or keep) Face or just be raw and present as is, everywhere with everyone.
Other terms I find interesting: stigma management and compartmentalization.
Understanding compartmentalization I think it is easier to see how the vast majority of people do not give attention to total integrity and aligning all facets of themselves and their lives with their core values. Compartmentalization used to be touted as a positive thing for people who wish to function highly. I can hear my mom now "you *have* to learn to compartmentalize. most people compartmentalize" apparently I hold myself to a much higher standard! Didn't know that until recently, as I had always been so down on myself.