Social Anxiety Support

_AJ_ · 10-25-2009, 06:16 PM

So i went to British columbia for the whole last week and I was at a thing for my work.
They provided breakfast, lunch and supper, and every table was a group table!

so if i wanted to eat, id have to sit with people, and I didnt know anyone there. They werent my coworkers, but workers from other parts of the country.

So first I sat alone at a table that seats 6, and I was the only one sitting alone, so i just yelled out to some girls "hey, come sit here! Im all alone here" and they did!

so i tried to make some conversation, and we just didnt really have anything in common, so it came to a dead awkward silence. So i kinda freaked out a bit, awkward silences are my biggest weakness, and ate fast and made a run for it!

I spent along time in my bed afterwards, thinking on a solution to this, so I decided that I will from that day forth be perfectly fine with any awkward silence, no matter how long it shall be!

So then i had some nice looong awkward silences with every meal, and I even walked up to tables where everyone knew each other and I knew no one, and i sat down and didnt say a thing, just ate.

It was funny, my mind kept making me wanna freak out again, but the intelligent part of my mind(that would be me) kept it calm like a coach. Other people at the table were more uncomfortable with the silence than i was and they were trying to make conversation with me, while i was the calm relaxed secure one, it was great!

so the lesson is: Thinking I haave to make conversation makes me anxious. talking when I feel like makes life much more relaxing and enjoyable and I look more confident and secure.

bwidger85 · 10-25-2009, 06:43 PM

AJ, it's that kind of thinking and active participation that is going to make you regain your self-confidence. I'm really happy for you! Keep up with that mentality and you'll be able to do anything, I promise! You are learning and with that will come a deeper understanding of yourself and of others. Don’t stop questioning your limits until you are totally satisfied and you will get where you want to be! Allow for mistakes, feel/think them out and learn from them. Your learning humiliation and what humblness it brings! Great job!

millenniumman75 · 10-25-2009, 08:38 PM

Nice work, AJ!

TATA · 10-25-2009, 08:57 PM

thank you for the tip... gotta remember it next time

Lex Love · 10-26-2009, 09:39 AM

Well done sounds like a very interesting perspective of putting things

Perfectionist · 10-26-2009, 09:16 PM

BC BABY!

Really intersting to read you post, as always. I love you positive attitude, it's really inspiring

10-25-2009, 06:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
_AJ_ Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Posts: 734	What I learned on my vacation So i went to British columbia for the whole last week and I was at a thing for my work. They provided breakfast, lunch and supper, and every table was a group table! so if i wanted to eat, id have to sit with people, and I didnt know anyone there. They werent my coworkers, but workers from other parts of the country. So first I sat alone at a table that seats 6, and I was the only one sitting alone, so i just yelled out to some girls "hey, come sit here! Im all alone here" and they did! so i tried to make some conversation, and we just didnt really have anything in common, so it came to a dead awkward silence. So i kinda freaked out a bit, awkward silences are my biggest weakness, and ate fast and made a run for it! I spent along time in my bed afterwards, thinking on a solution to this, so I decided that I will from that day forth be perfectly fine with any awkward silence, no matter how long it shall be! So then i had some nice looong awkward silences with every meal, and I even walked up to tables where everyone knew each other and I knew no one, and i sat down and didnt say a thing, just ate. It was funny, my mind kept making me wanna freak out again, but the intelligent part of my mind(that would be me) kept it calm like a coach. Other people at the table were more uncomfortable with the silence than i was and they were trying to make conversation with me, while i was the calm relaxed secure one, it was great! so the lesson is: Thinking I haave to make conversation makes me anxious. talking when I feel like makes life much more relaxing and enjoyable and I look more confident and secure. __________________ Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the decision to act in spite of it.

10-25-2009, 06:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
bwidger85 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Ohio Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 706	AJ, it's that kind of thinking and active participation that is going to make you regain your self-confidence. I'm really happy for you! Keep up with that mentality and you'll be able to do anything, I promise! You are learning and with that will come a deeper understanding of yourself and of others. Don’t stop questioning your limits until you are totally satisfied and you will get where you want to be! Allow for mistakes, feel/think them out and learn from them. Your learning humiliation and what humblness it brings! Great job! __________________ Album #3 (download my complete third album as it is right now!)

10-25-2009, 08:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,675	Nice work, AJ! __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!

10-25-2009, 08:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
TATA Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: New York City Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 242	thank you for the tip... gotta remember it next time __________________ Scientists have found the gene for shyness. They would have found it years ago, but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes. Jonathan Katz

10-26-2009, 09:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
Perfectionist Status: Too Cool for School Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: At the Hundredth Meridian Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 2,313	BC BABY! Really intersting to read you post, as always. I love you positive attitude, it's really inspiring __________________ -Oh if Hans Christian Anderson could've had his way with me

10-26-2009, 09:39 AM	#5 (permalink)
Lex Love Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 31	Well done sounds like a very interesting perspective of putting things