Social Anxiety Support

carambola · 10-07-2009, 02:10 AM

I live in an apartment building and avoid talking to my neighbors as much as possible. I don't go outside when I know they're nearby if I can help it. Sometimes I have actually run away from them. When I am forced to walk past one, I walk quickly and stare at the ground (the guy I talked to today told my roommate once that I always seemed very busy

). If they try to say something to me, I usually mumble "hi" and then some sort of unintelligible response to the question "How are you?" without asking them in return or often even being sure that's what they said.

Well, on Sunday, my friend asked me about available apartments in my building. He wanted to know how much they were, so when I saw this guy, John, who lives in the building and at some point a while back became the on-site manager, I spoke up and asked him. I'm sure he was shocked. He tells my roommate whenever I say several words at a time to him.

The friend wanted to know when he could see the apartments, so today I asked John if they'd be unlocked at night and if he'd be around to answer questions at 10pm. I showed my friend the apartments tonight and then went with him to talk to John again.

I'm really curious to see what he'll say to my roommate about it. I wasn't exactly loquacious, but I'm sure I got out more multi-word utterances in the past few days than in the 4+ years he has lived here.

I'm also kind of afraid that he will expect me to interact more from now on. Maybe it will be easier, though.

(I strongly hope the friend will take the apartment, since if he does that probably means he won't leave in December like he's been thinking about doing, and that means if all goes well I should still have a friend nearby for a while

)

mind_games · 10-07-2009, 03:05 AM

Well done

. Its especially hard when you've gotten into a habit or routine of not speaking with your neighbours. It then feels even more weirder to speak up.

Jigirk · 10-07-2009, 04:36 AM

Well done on speaking up, hopefully it'll become easier to speak to John and maybe more of your neighbours from now on.
I hope your friend takes the apartment also for the reasons you said about being close by.

I live in a street with rows of houses each side and never talk to my neighbours and feel bad about it. Sometimes the two either side said good morning to me ect, but have stopped now. Everyone must think I'm just an ignorant weirdo.

lyssado707 · 10-07-2009, 12:50 PM

Good job! Very brave. I hope your friend gets in.

10-07-2009, 02:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
carambola Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: California Age: 24 Posts: 735	Really talked to a neighbor for the first time I live in an apartment building and avoid talking to my neighbors as much as possible. I don't go outside when I know they're nearby if I can help it. Sometimes I have actually run away from them. When I am forced to walk past one, I walk quickly and stare at the ground (the guy I talked to today told my roommate once that I always seemed very busy ). If they try to say something to me, I usually mumble "hi" and then some sort of unintelligible response to the question "How are you?" without asking them in return or often even being sure that's what they said. Well, on Sunday, my friend asked me about available apartments in my building. He wanted to know how much they were, so when I saw this guy, John, who lives in the building and at some point a while back became the on-site manager, I spoke up and asked him. I'm sure he was shocked. He tells my roommate whenever I say several words at a time to him. The friend wanted to know when he could see the apartments, so today I asked John if they'd be unlocked at night and if he'd be around to answer questions at 10pm. I showed my friend the apartments tonight and then went with him to talk to John again. I'm really curious to see what he'll say to my roommate about it. I wasn't exactly loquacious, but I'm sure I got out more multi-word utterances in the past few days than in the 4+ years he has lived here. I'm also kind of afraid that he will expect me to interact more from now on. Maybe it will be easier, though. (I strongly hope the friend will take the apartment, since if he does that probably means he won't leave in December like he's been thinking about doing, and that means if all goes well I should still have a friend nearby for a while )

10-07-2009, 03:05 AM	#2 (permalink)
mind_games Status: dances, like a fridge Join Date: Nov 2008 Age: 23 Posts: 1,570	Well done . Its especially hard when you've gotten into a habit or routine of not speaking with your neighbours. It then feels even more weirder to speak up. __________________ "this is not me, this is me reacting to your perception of me"

10-07-2009, 12:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
lyssado707 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Humboldt County, CA Age: 22 Posts: 3,228	Good job! Very brave. I hope your friend gets in. __________________ In Loving Memory, http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...6/P1000595.jpg http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...P1000480-1.jpg Marmalade January 1991-February 19, 2007

10-07-2009, 04:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
Jigirk Status: Desolate Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Shrewsbury' UK Gender: Male Posts: 69	Well done on speaking up, hopefully it'll become easier to speak to John and maybe more of your neighbours from now on. I hope your friend takes the apartment also for the reasons you said about being close by. I live in a street with rows of houses each side and never talk to my neighbours and feel bad about it. Sometimes the two either side said good morning to me ect, but have stopped now. Everyone must think I'm just an ignorant weirdo.