Social Anxiety Support

Catching Fire · 10-25-2009, 07:02 PM

I went up to visit a friend I made during the summer at their college. She had invited me to go up with her to hangout at another college she was visiting last weekend. I couldn't do that. She was home and wanted to hangout the weekend before that and I also couldn't. I text her and talk to her online all the time and seeing as she wanted to hangout before I thought it would be compltely normal to go up there. In fact when I couldn't hangout she suggested I just go up to see her. So I did. I don't know but I think I must have misinterpreted something or stepped over some line. I actually don't know. Maybe she wasn't completely serious about me going up or never expected me to follow through. I let her know I was going up a week in advance too. So it wasn't like I surprised her either. Basically the second I arived I could tell by peoples reactions that this situation was very awkward and I felt extremely unwelcomed. I tried to start conversations and she was pretty unresponsive and they went nowhere. She then picked up a friend of her's that goes to college about half an hour away who I also know but made things worse. They basically talked to each other like I wasn't there the entire time. The fact that I was way way out of my comfort zone and basically completely crippled by SA didn't help either. Another thing that probably factors into why it was so awkaward is I first met her when we hooked up at a party. I think people thought I was up there for round two or something. I'm not like that at all. I thought we were friends and I should maintain that friendship especially since I talk to her a lot. She initiates most of the conversations too. When we started partying things got even worse. My friend(not the one I was visiting) decided to text that girl she picked up who is one of his best friends to be my wingman. First off I never wanted a wingman. Also how does she act as my wingman by drunkingly yelling at a group of girls who wants to have sex with this guy

which as you can guess went great. That group of girls left after that. I also drank way too much and got pretty sick and blacked out at some point. It was just very bad. Luckily the next day she had to go somewhere for awhile and I was able to use that as an excuse to leave. So it ended there. So how was such a bad experience a triumph?

I didn't put it on me. I don't feel like I'm such a loser or deserve the treatment I got at all. I was trying to be nice by going up there too. I didn't need to do it at all. I'm making real friends in college. In fact I passed up a lot of invitations to do stuff that weekend from friends of mine because I was going up there. I would of had an amazing weekend if I stayed home. I even got invited to go play paintball next weekend by a friend of mine next weekend the night I was there. My friends arn't losers or outcasts either. So I'm confident I'm no social pushover. So I feel I can put this behind me and just laugh about all the terrible moments which will make some great stories.

drealm · 10-25-2009, 07:07 PM

It sounds like you did something for your friend and she didn't really appreciate it. I don't understand why'd she beg you to come up there only to ignore her... perhaps talking on the phone is better indicator of whether people are being serious or not.

Catching Fire · 10-26-2009, 05:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drealm

It sounds like you did something for your friend and she didn't really appreciate it. I don't understand why'd she beg you to come up there only to ignore her... perhaps talking on the phone is better indicator of whether people are being serious or not.

Yeah I don't really understand it either.

10-25-2009, 07:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
Catching Fire Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 452	Really Bad Weekend But I Feel it Put Things in Perspective I went up to visit a friend I made during the summer at their college. She had invited me to go up with her to hangout at another college she was visiting last weekend. I couldn't do that. She was home and wanted to hangout the weekend before that and I also couldn't. I text her and talk to her online all the time and seeing as she wanted to hangout before I thought it would be compltely normal to go up there. In fact when I couldn't hangout she suggested I just go up to see her. So I did. I don't know but I think I must have misinterpreted something or stepped over some line. I actually don't know. Maybe she wasn't completely serious about me going up or never expected me to follow through. I let her know I was going up a week in advance too. So it wasn't like I surprised her either. Basically the second I arived I could tell by peoples reactions that this situation was very awkward and I felt extremely unwelcomed. I tried to start conversations and she was pretty unresponsive and they went nowhere. She then picked up a friend of her's that goes to college about half an hour away who I also know but made things worse. They basically talked to each other like I wasn't there the entire time. The fact that I was way way out of my comfort zone and basically completely crippled by SA didn't help either. Another thing that probably factors into why it was so awkaward is I first met her when we hooked up at a party. I think people thought I was up there for round two or something. I'm not like that at all. I thought we were friends and I should maintain that friendship especially since I talk to her a lot. She initiates most of the conversations too. When we started partying things got even worse. My friend(not the one I was visiting) decided to text that girl she picked up who is one of his best friends to be my wingman. First off I never wanted a wingman. Also how does she act as my wingman by drunkingly yelling at a group of girls who wants to have sex with this guy which as you can guess went great. That group of girls left after that. I also drank way too much and got pretty sick and blacked out at some point. It was just very bad. Luckily the next day she had to go somewhere for awhile and I was able to use that as an excuse to leave. So it ended there. So how was such a bad experience a triumph? I didn't put it on me. I don't feel like I'm such a loser or deserve the treatment I got at all. I was trying to be nice by going up there too. I didn't need to do it at all. I'm making real friends in college. In fact I passed up a lot of invitations to do stuff that weekend from friends of mine because I was going up there. I would of had an amazing weekend if I stayed home. I even got invited to go play paintball next weekend by a friend of mine next weekend the night I was there. My friends arn't losers or outcasts either. So I'm confident I'm no social pushover. So I feel I can put this behind me and just laugh about all the terrible moments which will make some great stories. __________________ No chains on my feet but Im not free- Bob Marley

10-25-2009, 07:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
drealm Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 292	It sounds like you did something for your friend and she didn't really appreciate it. I don't understand why'd she beg you to come up there only to ignore her... perhaps talking on the phone is better indicator of whether people are being serious or not.