Social Anxiety Support

inVis420 · 10-24-2009, 09:56 PM

Man what a great feeling

. I've had 2 female friends my whole life and out of nowhere today I just made friends with these two cute girls from work. I hate that these random bursts of confidence happen so rarely and randomly. Why can't I be this social more often?

Breakfast0fChampions · 10-24-2009, 10:00 PM

Congratulations to you.

hushhush · 10-24-2009, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inVis420

Man what a great feeling

. I've had 2 female friends my whole life and out of nowhere today I just made friends with these two cute girls from work. I hate that these random bursts of confidence happen so rarely and randomly. Why can't I be this social more often?

congrats!! tell me how to make friends that fast, because i don't know how.

mind_games · 10-24-2009, 11:11 PM

Woot!

its_a_rick · 10-25-2009, 09:17 AM

Congratz!

theuprising · 10-25-2009, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inVis420

Man what a great feeling

. I've had 2 female friends my whole life and out of nowhere today I just made friends with these two cute girls from work. I hate that these random bursts of confidence happen so rarely and randomly. Why can't I be this social more often?

psychoanalyze what happened in that situation of confidence. Know now that you have the abilities to be social in any situations, its just that you're stopping youself. In otherwords, you have no social skills you need to learn to become social, you know them already

forever_dreamer · 10-25-2009, 12:20 PM

Congrats! I wish I could make one or two male friends. It's nice when you have confidence bursts! I agree with theuprising though.

inVis420 · 10-26-2009, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hushhush

congrats!! tell me how to make friends that fast, because i don't know how.

Well i've worked with them for a while so we've talked here and there so it wasn't that fast really. I just started talking to them and they were smiling the whole time which helped my confidence. Later on in the same night I tried talking to them again and to my surprise we continued to hit it off well. There was lots of joking around which helped me relax and ask them stuff that I normally wouldn't ask. My advice would be to just keep trying to converse with people.....you may fail 4 times (like I have in the past) but that 5th time things may finally work out and you'll have some new friends

Thanks everybody! Feels good to finally have some social success....no depression on a Monday for once!

Rixy · 10-26-2009, 04:51 PM

That's great to hear. Hopefully you can make some more friends in the future.

goodthing · 10-26-2009, 05:07 PM

That's so great!

I know how you feel, with the random bursts of confidence, same thing happens to me. So at least we know we can do it!

Very happy for you!

VIncymon · 10-27-2009, 05:39 PM

Congratulations ...Random bursts of confidence indeed.

Today I managed to come off as a jerk. To one girl I say "no, that girl over there is not my girlfriend." and then I spend the rest of the day dancing with "that girl over there."

In my defense, i certainly wasn't lying. I have never had a girlfriend, and have non presently. Its just that today I somehow found the confidence to grab a girl and dance with her.

Its like this, i go to a party, find Sally, and stay by her the whole time, hitting off and trying not to be clingy. I go off to get a drink and meet Mary, who assumes Sally is my girlfriend. I tell Mary that she is not, but then I go and dance with Sally until the end of the party.

Man i wish I knew how to maintain that state of mind..

inVis420 · 11-02-2009, 03:31 PM

Update: Well to my surprise i'm still friends with these girls and i've added one more female friend this weekend

. I think my problem before was just that I didn't have enough self-esteem to continue to be comfortable around people. Lately i've been working hard on improving my self-esteem and in turn i've had less negative thoughts. Negative thoughts = bad SA every single time so i've made it a habit to ignore these thoughts. For the first time in a while i'm actually optimistic about getting better and it's mainly thanks to all the things that i've learned on this board.

sandwich master · 11-03-2009, 11:35 PM

Believe!

Emptyheart · 11-03-2009, 11:44 PM

great job..can u teach me..you sound like a pro hee hee! XD

inVis420 · 11-06-2009, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emptyheart

great job..can u teach me..you sound like a pro hee hee! XD

haha I wish

. I'm basically just putting into action techniques that I learned about online. Obviously, everyone deals with their SA differently but for me I just have to be take more chances and the rest tends to work itself out because people seem to like me.

10-24-2009, 09:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
inVis420 Status: Box of Rain Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Baltimore Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 45	Made two new female friends today! Man what a great feeling . I've had 2 female friends my whole life and out of nowhere today I just made friends with these two cute girls from work. I hate that these random bursts of confidence happen so rarely and randomly. Why can't I be this social more often?

10-24-2009, 10:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
Breakfast0fChampions Status: Resist. Unlearn. Defy. Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In My Tree Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 670	Congratulations to you. __________________ I'mma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you - Weezer, Pork and Beans Had my eyes peeled both wide open, and I got a glimpse Of my innocence... got back my inner sense... Baby got it, still got it - Pearl Jam, In My Tree Facebook - SuperBetter! A multi-player way to beat SA - Writerly

10-24-2009, 11:11 PM	#4 (permalink)
mind_games Status: dances, like a fridge Join Date: Nov 2008 Age: 23 Posts: 1,568	Woot! __________________ "this is not me, this is me reacting to your perception of me"

10-25-2009, 09:17 AM	#5 (permalink)
its_a_rick Status: So tired... Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Netherlands Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 211	Congratz! __________________ Yummy... boredom.

10-25-2009, 12:20 PM	#7 (permalink)
forever_dreamer Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Dreamland ; ) Gender: Female Posts: 291	Congrats! I wish I could make one or two male friends. It's nice when you have confidence bursts! I agree with theuprising though. __________________ "The purpose of life is for you to grow up into the best human being you can be." -Barbara De Angelis, Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know "When my eyes are closed, dreams and reality are the same"-Utada Hikaru "In my room" excerpt (English translation)

10-26-2009, 04:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
Rixy Status: Falling into Guru Muhk Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 17 Posts: 214	That's great to hear. Hopefully you can make some more friends in the future. __________________ Will you say hello to my ma? Will you pay a visit to her? She was an artist just as you were I'd have introduced you to her She would take me out on Sundays We'd go laughing through the garbage She repaired legs like a doctor On the kitchen chairs we sat on She was unhappy just as you were unhappy just as you were unhappy just as you were unhappy just as you were... -Jane's Addiction (Then She Did...)

10-26-2009, 05:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
goodthing Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 52	That's so great! I know how you feel, with the random bursts of confidence, same thing happens to me. So at least we know we can do it! Very happy for you!

10-27-2009, 05:39 PM	#11 (permalink)
VIncymon Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 741	Congratulations ...Random bursts of confidence indeed. Today I managed to come off as a jerk. To one girl I say "no, that girl over there is not my girlfriend." and then I spend the rest of the day dancing with "that girl over there." In my defense, i certainly wasn't lying. I have never had a girlfriend, and have non presently. Its just that today I somehow found the confidence to grab a girl and dance with her. Its like this, i go to a party, find Sally, and stay by her the whole time, hitting off and trying not to be clingy. I go off to get a drink and meet Mary, who assumes Sally is my girlfriend. I tell Mary that she is not, but then I go and dance with Sally until the end of the party. Man i wish I knew how to maintain that state of mind..

11-02-2009, 03:31 PM	#12 (permalink)
inVis420 Status: Box of Rain Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Baltimore Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 45	Update: Well to my surprise i'm still friends with these girls and i've added one more female friend this weekend . I think my problem before was just that I didn't have enough self-esteem to continue to be comfortable around people. Lately i've been working hard on improving my self-esteem and in turn i've had less negative thoughts. Negative thoughts = bad SA every single time so i've made it a habit to ignore these thoughts. For the first time in a while i'm actually optimistic about getting better and it's mainly thanks to all the things that i've learned on this board.

11-03-2009, 11:35 PM	#13 (permalink)
sandwich master Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 13	Believe!

11-03-2009, 11:44 PM	#14 (permalink)
Emptyheart Status: wishes to be SA-free Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: In my own world. Gender: Female Posts: 368	great job..can u teach me..you sound like a pro hee hee! XD __________________ Her skin is white cloth, and she's all sewn apart and she has many colored pins sticking out of her heart. She has many different zombies who are deeply in her trance. She even has a zombie who was originally from France. But she knows she has ......a battle, a battle she cannot win. For if someone gets too close to her, the pins stick farther in.