Social Anxiety Support

durak · 10-11-2009, 10:10 AM

These words have haunted me since my teens and I am now 42. I have suffered from SA since before they had a name for it. Reading aloud in class, speeches, introductions, I couldn't do it. I remember what a revelation it was when in the early 90's I saw an ad in the newspaper for a trial medicine that was being used to treat the symptoms of SA. I discovered I wasn't the only one who had this problem.
This past week, I was in a training session for work. I had only briefly considered the possibility that we would have to introduce ourselves but didn't think there was much chance of it, which lessened my anticipatory anxiety. I was mistaken, 5 minutes into the class the instructed uttered those dreaded words.
Immediately, my heart began to race, my ears where ringing, thoughts racing. The classroom was set up as a lab, 2 people at a table, I was near the door and thought about getting up and leaving. My lab partner was in the way, I thought about going under the table to escape. Finally I realized, there was no escape, I was going to have to do this.
The way we went around the room, I would be the last one to speak. Finally after 10 minutes of others introductions, it was my turn...and I spoke.
My voice didn't shake, I didn't get choked up, I didn't turn red....IT'S A MIRACLE, I thought. And the feeling of euphoria after doing what my mind told me was impossible..Awesome
So, how did I do it...
1. I tried to control my breathing. Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold it, then exhale for 5 seconds.
2. I focused on things, a pen on the desk, the start menu on the computer screen, anything... controlling my breathing at the same time.
3. I laughed...If anyone said anything remotely funny during introductions, I laughed. It's amazing how much this helped.
4. About a month ago I started taking celexa. Not sure what impact this played in my success.

In my 30 years of dealing with SA, this was one of my biggest successes. I hope my techniques will help you as well.

Toad Licker · 10-11-2009, 11:22 AM

Congrats on your triumph and welcome to

cry_rain · 10-11-2009, 11:56 AM

welome

JayDontCareEh · 10-11-2009, 11:59 AM

Hi, hi, hi there durak.

Breakfast0fChampions · 10-11-2009, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by durak

1. I tried to control my breathing. Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold it, then exhale for 5 seconds.

That sounds like the Calming Breath exercise from The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. Is that where you discovered it?

Wherever you got it from, congrats on your triumph and welcome to the board.

Pam · 10-12-2009, 02:47 PM

I tend to laugh at anything that is "remotely funny" too! It really does help--relieves pressure or tension.
But a couple times my laughing was taken to mean i was laughing AT the person and they were offended. Luckily they straight out asked me if i was laughing at them and I explained myself right then & there--no I really thought what you just said was funny, and I just laugh a lot! Then everything was ok.

And I think your second thing to do--focusing on things outside your self--really can help. It seems like people with SA are so focused on our insides (feeling, sensations, etc) that it just magnifies everything that's going on inside. But if we can direct our attention OUT on to others or even objects, like you say, we can get a bit of a break from the self-consciousness!

Snow Bunny · 10-12-2009, 06:03 PM

Awesome, I hate those things, congrats!

Homersxchild · 10-12-2009, 07:23 PM

That's so great that you survived! Just reading the title of the thread sent shivers down my spine. I hate that, I'll probably have to do those when I go to college in January.

Introductions are so fast, there usually isn't even time for the blushing to start in. Or at least that's my experience. The real pain is the growing panic as you see the line closing in on you. I used to hate in school when we would read around the room. And I saw it coming closer.. and closer..

I'm not sure if anyone ever knew how nervous I was though, because when reading I usually have a clear reading voice. I was lucky that my voice doesn't really shake.

Anyway, it's really great that it went okay. Perhaps you'll have more confidence to do these types of things.

10-11-2009, 10:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
durak Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 1	Let's go around the room and introduce ourselves... These words have haunted me since my teens and I am now 42. I have suffered from SA since before they had a name for it. Reading aloud in class, speeches, introductions, I couldn't do it. I remember what a revelation it was when in the early 90's I saw an ad in the newspaper for a trial medicine that was being used to treat the symptoms of SA. I discovered I wasn't the only one who had this problem. This past week, I was in a training session for work. I had only briefly considered the possibility that we would have to introduce ourselves but didn't think there was much chance of it, which lessened my anticipatory anxiety. I was mistaken, 5 minutes into the class the instructed uttered those dreaded words. Immediately, my heart began to race, my ears where ringing, thoughts racing. The classroom was set up as a lab, 2 people at a table, I was near the door and thought about getting up and leaving. My lab partner was in the way, I thought about going under the table to escape. Finally I realized, there was no escape, I was going to have to do this. The way we went around the room, I would be the last one to speak. Finally after 10 minutes of others introductions, it was my turn...and I spoke. My voice didn't shake, I didn't get choked up, I didn't turn red....IT'S A MIRACLE, I thought. And the feeling of euphoria after doing what my mind told me was impossible..Awesome So, how did I do it... 1. I tried to control my breathing. Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold it, then exhale for 5 seconds. 2. I focused on things, a pen on the desk, the start menu on the computer screen, anything... controlling my breathing at the same time. 3. I laughed...If anyone said anything remotely funny during introductions, I laughed. It's amazing how much this helped. 4. About a month ago I started taking celexa. Not sure what impact this played in my success. In my 30 years of dealing with SA, this was one of my biggest successes. I hope my techniques will help you as well.

10-11-2009, 11:22 AM	#2 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 29,624	Congrats on your triumph and welcome to __________________ All will wither, go to sleep The ones you love you may not keep All you touch will fall apart The dreams you kill will break your heart There's no mercy, there's no rest The void will scream within your chest No one knows and no one will So leave this place that makes you Ill - Madder Mortem

10-11-2009, 11:59 AM	#4 (permalink)
JayDontCareEh Status: SAS member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Ontario, Canada Age: 28 Posts: 186	Hi, hi, hi there durak. __________________ Cracked halo horns on my helmet Little doll crawl in cherry red velvet

10-12-2009, 02:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
Pam Status: Never Fitting In Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: western New York Gender: Female Age: 41 Posts: 234	I tend to laugh at anything that is "remotely funny" too! It really does help--relieves pressure or tension. But a couple times my laughing was taken to mean i was laughing AT the person and they were offended. Luckily they straight out asked me if i was laughing at them and I explained myself right then & there--no I really thought what you just said was funny, and I just laugh a lot! Then everything was ok. And I think your second thing to do--focusing on things outside your self--really can help. It seems like people with SA are so focused on our insides (feeling, sensations, etc) that it just magnifies everything that's going on inside. But if we can direct our attention OUT on to others or even objects, like you say, we can get a bit of a break from the self-consciousness! __________________ I don't need anyone to approve of what I say or do...but it's always nice when someone does.

10-11-2009, 11:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
cry_rain Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 180	welome

10-12-2009, 06:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
Snow Bunny Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: UK Gender: Female Posts: 81	Awesome, I hate those things, congrats!

10-12-2009, 07:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
Homersxchild Status: Garr. Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: USA. Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 110	That's so great that you survived! Just reading the title of the thread sent shivers down my spine. I hate that, I'll probably have to do those when I go to college in January. Introductions are so fast, there usually isn't even time for the blushing to start in. Or at least that's my experience. The real pain is the growing panic as you see the line closing in on you. I used to hate in school when we would read around the room. And I saw it coming closer.. and closer.. I'm not sure if anyone ever knew how nervous I was though, because when reading I usually have a clear reading voice. I was lucky that my voice doesn't really shake. Anyway, it's really great that it went okay. Perhaps you'll have more confidence to do these types of things.