Social Anxiety Support

ch3cooh · 11-01-2009, 06:31 AM

So last night I wasn't planning on going out. A couple buddies/training partners planned to go check out some crappy local MMA fights (and sweet christ were they terrible, sometimes I wonder if it would be fun to drive around rural Oklahoma for a week or so and go roll with/tool the top guys at some of these gyms but then I remember how terribly I perform at gyms other than my own since I'm always worried about what people say about my skills), we mostly went because the promoter had arranged for our coach to a cageside table but he couldn't make it and offered to let us use it. After the fights one of my friends said that a few of his friends were at a bar called Fishbonz. I debated in my head a few minutes whether or not to go, I didn't have a costume, I'm not really a fan of fishbonz, I was just rocking jeans, a tshirt and ballcap. But in the end I decided to go.

When we got there my friend introduced me to his friends, which consisted of a guy in his 30s, his wife, and another woman. There was pure ridiculousness going on all around me and I was able to get as comfortable as I could get mostly by making wisecracks about what people were wearing and how they were dancing. They had a cover band and a DJ for entertainment, and at one point the two women went and started dancing. I really wanted to go out there and even took a step towards the dancefloor, but my buddy looked at me and just inquired (without any kind of malice or anything) "where you going?" I froze, "uhhhh nowhere." A couple of minutes later he went to go get another drink and I was standing there by myself.

The argument began to rage in my head:

: get out there and join them they're just out having a good time!

: DON'T YOU DARE TAKE ONE STEP TOWARDS THAT DANCEFLOOR

: look how much fun they're having, you could have that, and that one girl is cute as hell!

: YOU WILL BE LAUGHED AT, IF THEY WANTED YOU OUT THERE THEY WOULD HAVE INVITED YOU TO JOIN THEM!

: THE HELL WITH IT I'M GOING!

: oh god oh god oh god

I went out there and just started dancing and being goofy. And it was a hit! I spent the rest of the night dancing and flirting with the none married girl and probably could have gotten her number but I couldn't figure out how to work that in. Actually any attempt at conversation other than wise cracks would result in me flirting with my brain locking up. It was a bit like in Apollo 13 where Tom Hanks is screaming about flirting with gimbal lock. But hey progress! Felt good to go out and have fun like that. Most importantly I did out without really drinking. Over the course of 4 hours I had 3 beers (coors lights which in OK are only about half strength), so that definitely feels good.

Happ2beme · 11-01-2009, 07:33 AM

Great hurdle to overcome. Glad you did the dancing.

Toad Licker · 11-01-2009, 11:12 AM

Sounds like you had a good time, congrats!

millenniumman75 · 11-01-2009, 03:38 PM

Nice!

11-01-2009, 06:31 AM	#1 (permalink)
ch3cooh Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Oklahoma...OK! Gender: Male Posts: 50	Halloween So last night I wasn't planning on going out. A couple buddies/training partners planned to go check out some crappy local MMA fights (and sweet christ were they terrible, sometimes I wonder if it would be fun to drive around rural Oklahoma for a week or so and go roll with/tool the top guys at some of these gyms but then I remember how terribly I perform at gyms other than my own since I'm always worried about what people say about my skills), we mostly went because the promoter had arranged for our coach to a cageside table but he couldn't make it and offered to let us use it. After the fights one of my friends said that a few of his friends were at a bar called Fishbonz. I debated in my head a few minutes whether or not to go, I didn't have a costume, I'm not really a fan of fishbonz, I was just rocking jeans, a tshirt and ballcap. But in the end I decided to go. When we got there my friend introduced me to his friends, which consisted of a guy in his 30s, his wife, and another woman. There was pure ridiculousness going on all around me and I was able to get as comfortable as I could get mostly by making wisecracks about what people were wearing and how they were dancing. They had a cover band and a DJ for entertainment, and at one point the two women went and started dancing. I really wanted to go out there and even took a step towards the dancefloor, but my buddy looked at me and just inquired (without any kind of malice or anything) "where you going?" I froze, "uhhhh nowhere." A couple of minutes later he went to go get another drink and I was standing there by myself. The argument began to rage in my head: : get out there and join them they're just out having a good time! : DON'T YOU DARE TAKE ONE STEP TOWARDS THAT DANCEFLOOR : look how much fun they're having, you could have that, and that one girl is cute as hell! : YOU WILL BE LAUGHED AT, IF THEY WANTED YOU OUT THERE THEY WOULD HAVE INVITED YOU TO JOIN THEM! : THE HELL WITH IT I'M GOING! : oh god oh god oh god I went out there and just started dancing and being goofy. And it was a hit! I spent the rest of the night dancing and flirting with the none married girl and probably could have gotten her number but I couldn't figure out how to work that in. Actually any attempt at conversation other than wise cracks would result in me flirting with my brain locking up. It was a bit like in Apollo 13 where Tom Hanks is screaming about flirting with gimbal lock. But hey progress! Felt good to go out and have fun like that. Most importantly I did out without really drinking. Over the course of 4 hours I had 3 beers (coors lights which in OK are only about half strength), so that definitely feels good.

11-01-2009, 07:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
Happ2beme Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Yucaipa, California Gender: Male Age: 45 Posts: 241	Great hurdle to overcome. Glad you did the dancing. __________________ Edward Scissorhands. You give the quote "nothing is what it seems" its real meaning! You deserve more than you get, but it takes time and effort knowing you for people to understand they have the real deal here. You are totally original although too idealistic, which makes it difficult for you to be understood...

11-01-2009, 11:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 29,594	Sounds like you had a good time, congrats! __________________ All will wither, go to sleep The ones you love you may not keep All you touch will fall apart The dreams you kill will break your heart There's no mercy, there's no rest The void will scream within your chest No one knows and no one will So leave this place that makes you Ill - Madder Mortem

11-01-2009, 03:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,625	Nice! __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!