I work at my local club and there is this co worker who is extroverted. She made a bad first impression on me when she made some remark about me being "subdued" and too quiet. The vibe I got this initial remark was that there is something with me (showing SA symptoms and stuff).
Months go by and she tries to say hello with me and I reciprocated. But at times, her behavior gets annoying and one time she jokingly kicked me martial arts style and hit nearly hit my groin. But I ignored her.
Times go by again and one time, I was no enthusiastic about her saying hello and she asked me what's wrong. I told her I didn't like her and didn't like working here. She got hurt from that and made a scene in front of everyone at work. Being an SAer who wants to rid of SA positively, I told myself I shouldn't care that I hurt her. Then she storms off.
But something annoying happened.
She ended up ratting me out to my supervisor. My supervisor told me about me being unfriendly and she didn't tell who it was specifically. I knew exactly who it was. Basically that co worker was a vindictive brat who couldn't accept that someone didn't like her. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt that she is young and naive. She is not bad a person. In fact she is great at what she does.
But the SA triumph from this is that my internal thinking was positive. While I should have been nicer to her (and it's okay to make mistakes), she was chastizing me for being quiet. What I did was rude sure. But I look at it like I was standing up for myself. She sensed of my shyness and wanted to capitalize on it. I kept my cool and stood my ground. I didn't get negative thoughts about this.
I was proud to stand up for myself and didn't walk on egg shells to please her. No one is going to tell me there is something wrong with me. That's what the co worker was trying to do me. Make me feel bad about my quietness.
I am who I am. I am not a nice guy and I am not a jerk either. I act differently according to any situation. I am a complex individual (we all are). Labels such as "nice guy" or "A-hole" are limiting one's potential and true self.
You may do things in life that you may regret but never regret standing up and keep your integrity.
Thank you for reading and I encourage all of you in the most compassionate way to stand up for yourself. Anyone can do it if I can do it.