Social Anxiety Support

bbarn · 10-31-2009, 02:45 PM

So yesterday i went to a birthday party at a club with my best friend and some of our high school friends. I felt like there was so much pressure on me because i had told my best friend and the birthday girl that i liked her friend and they were like, "we are going to hook u up with her tonight!".

After entering the club i was dancing with my friends for a minute and out of nowhere i just didn't feel right. Like i just felt so down and couldn't control my emotions. I felt people could see right through me and could see how insecure and inferior i was. Mind you i have been clubbing before and have never experienced this situation at all. I was not drunk, i was tipsy but the anxious and illogical thoughts was such a burden that i couldn't control it. During the dancing i was texting my college friend, telling her that i was depressed, i wasn't having a good time and that i felt sick and needed to tell somebody my problem.

So right after than, i went away from the group and went downstairs in a secluded area to calm down and let my tears fall freely. I've never ever cried in a club before but because it was so overwhelming i couldn't help it. I called her and i finally told her that i have social anxiety.

The best news was that she totally understood everything that i was going through, even better than my best friend whom i had told to before. She told me that she had experienced panic attacks at random places before and how she brought up her father and how he has depression and gambles to get away from it all, similar to how i handle my situation. We talked for 2 hours and i completely forgot how i was in the club. I was so caught up in getting to know her and her getting to know me that i felt so relieved and at the same time happy that i physically knew somebody like me. We talked about the relationship side of things because we have a friend who cannot get girls even though he's a very social person but he has given up on love. Her boyfriend who was very insecure and totally in love with her and she never gave him the time or day but how he changed to a much more confident person. This made me realize that there is hope for me as well.

The night started off bad but ended better than i thought it would ever be. The funny thing was that i never saw the girl i liked in the club the whole night so i didn't screw up in front of her. She was not partying with the group. I am so thankful to have these people who are non judgmental and can call up or text when i'm having problems. Patience is the key to my understanding of my S.A. It's very hard at times but i know in the end i will be fine

Catching Fire · 10-31-2009, 03:45 PM

That's beautiful. It's amazing when you open up to people and they understand

. Its really great that you are starting to have a good support system. I wish me and everyone else had that.

millenniumman75 · 10-31-2009, 04:51 PM

It sounds like you had a great outing in spite of the issues

.

strawberryjulius · 10-31-2009, 06:02 PM

wow, i'm so happy for you.

Reminiscence · 10-31-2009, 11:38 PM

Awesome story man! I am thoroughly happy for ya!

Prakas · 11-01-2009, 12:45 AM

Congratulations! You just took a huge step. Fighting it head on is the way to go!

10-31-2009, 02:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
bbarn Status: on my way to recovery Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 232	came out to my college friend So yesterday i went to a birthday party at a club with my best friend and some of our high school friends. I felt like there was so much pressure on me because i had told my best friend and the birthday girl that i liked her friend and they were like, "we are going to hook u up with her tonight!". After entering the club i was dancing with my friends for a minute and out of nowhere i just didn't feel right. Like i just felt so down and couldn't control my emotions. I felt people could see right through me and could see how insecure and inferior i was. Mind you i have been clubbing before and have never experienced this situation at all. I was not drunk, i was tipsy but the anxious and illogical thoughts was such a burden that i couldn't control it. During the dancing i was texting my college friend, telling her that i was depressed, i wasn't having a good time and that i felt sick and needed to tell somebody my problem. So right after than, i went away from the group and went downstairs in a secluded area to calm down and let my tears fall freely. I've never ever cried in a club before but because it was so overwhelming i couldn't help it. I called her and i finally told her that i have social anxiety. The best news was that she totally understood everything that i was going through, even better than my best friend whom i had told to before. She told me that she had experienced panic attacks at random places before and how she brought up her father and how he has depression and gambles to get away from it all, similar to how i handle my situation. We talked for 2 hours and i completely forgot how i was in the club. I was so caught up in getting to know her and her getting to know me that i felt so relieved and at the same time happy that i physically knew somebody like me. We talked about the relationship side of things because we have a friend who cannot get girls even though he's a very social person but he has given up on love. Her boyfriend who was very insecure and totally in love with her and she never gave him the time or day but how he changed to a much more confident person. This made me realize that there is hope for me as well. The night started off bad but ended better than i thought it would ever be. The funny thing was that i never saw the girl i liked in the club the whole night so i didn't screw up in front of her. She was not partying with the group. I am so thankful to have these people who are non judgmental and can call up or text when i'm having problems. Patience is the key to my understanding of my S.A. It's very hard at times but i know in the end i will be fine __________________ “You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore” - Christopher Columbus

10-31-2009, 03:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
Catching Fire Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 454	That's beautiful. It's amazing when you open up to people and they understand . Its really great that you are starting to have a good support system. I wish me and everyone else had that. __________________ No chains on my feet but Im not free- Bob Marley

10-31-2009, 04:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,628	It sounds like you had a great outing in spite of the issues . __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!

10-31-2009, 06:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
strawberryjulius Status: ^_^ Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 1,568	wow, i'm so happy for you. __________________ Last.fm▪Anime "And if you've been let down, it might not be the last time. Cheer up, it will hurt much less tomorrow. We're all tired of **ing up and that's not just being sorry. It means brush the dirt off, get up and try again." NaNoWriMo Word Count: 470/50,000**

10-31-2009, 11:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
Reminiscence Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 1	Awesome story man! I am thoroughly happy for ya!

11-01-2009, 12:45 AM	#6 (permalink)
Prakas Status: Failure - Life Sucks Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Delaware Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 427	Congratulations! You just took a huge step. Fighting it head on is the way to go!