Social Anxiety Support

No-Sturm-und-Drang · 11-02-2009, 11:54 AM

I have noticed that some people on the forum are *****y whenever I feel like i am making strides in sa and getting better. I have seen this with other people on the forum as well. Its kinda annoying to be honest. If we are doing well we should support and truely be happy that we are making strides and others are too. I guess talking about happy things pisses people off. So i guess i'm posting to tell people to stop asking for attention and start helping yourself.

coldmorning · 11-02-2009, 12:08 PM

I haven't noticed bitterness towards people getting better here. But maybe I'm not looking in the right places.

glarmph · 11-02-2009, 12:10 PM

Yeah, I noticed that every once in a while. Sometimes it's hard to be happy for people when you are so miserable you usually wish you were dead.

shadowmask · 11-02-2009, 12:26 PM

It's just envy. I'll admit, I feel that way too sometimes. Although in my case it's anger directed towards myself for not doing more to get out of this.

sda0 · 11-02-2009, 02:45 PM

I've definitely noticed. I think a lot of it has to do with depression...depression and SA go hand in hand so often, and when you're depressed you can't form positive thoughts and pull yourself together long enough to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Depression meds aren't always the best answer, but at least they get you into a frame of mind where you want help, and haven't resigned yourself to a life of being alone and sad.

illlaymedown · 11-02-2009, 02:55 PM

I agree

We should take encouragement from the fact that others are getting better so we can too, but jealousy gets the best of some of us, so I can somewhat understand their negativity....but this site is called socialanxietySUPPORT so it is a given that in all levels of SA we still need support and some are gonna be doing better than you. Just learn from them...I find it encouraging more than depressing/bothersome and I'm having an extremely hard time with my SA and depression.

No-Sturm-und-Drang · 11-03-2009, 10:06 AM

yeah it kinda makes me feel bad sometimes when i post something positive people kinda put you down so i took a post down because they make me feel bad for taking steps to get better. When i realized how stupid i was being and how i was just letting self loathers get to me i noticed that this goes on. Sometimes this forum is like a competition of who has the wost sa when it should be a positive forum taking steps to better mental and physical health.

illlaymedown · 11-03-2009, 12:29 PM

Don't feel like you have to take posts down cus some people are being negative towards you! Some people really appreciate seeing those positive posts cus we are encouraged. For those who aren't forget them....jealousy is a natural human emotion, but it's also something we should work on and not let get the best of us. We all need support here, that's why we're here, from the no job, no friends, no partner to the having a job, friends, and partner, we all have SA in common and we're all trying to cope with it where we are in life. It's only natural that some people are gonna be doing better and some worse than you and we fear judgement so much, you'd think some people would notice since they have SA too how that kind of negativity towards those trying and doing well in some things would/could hurt them. Like I said this site is for support and every person with SA needs that no matter what their level of SA is and if anything we should be understanding cus we know how hard it is and are very misunderstood by the general population ourselves.

Breakfast0fChampions · 11-03-2009, 02:23 PM

I've noticed the bitterness toward getting better. I suppose receiving bitterness and negativity is good training for relying on yourself for approval, though, which is what we all need anyway.

On a related note, the mass negativity on this board has really had an effect on me, as much as I would like to say it hasn't. I came to the conclusion today that just skimming through the thread topics in the New Posts search is toxic enough to bring me down, even if I don't click on the individual threads and read the rants. This disorder is tough, and it's most likely other sufferers who will understand the frustration, but it's more like a pity party than a support site when all the negativity gets blended together. I've thought about suggesting a name change from Social Anxiety Support to Social Anxiety Enabling, because it seems sometimes that this site encourages social anxiety more than it encourages recovery.

Keep making strides and making posts about them. I'll give you support.

drealm · 11-03-2009, 02:36 PM

I've noticed the bitterness. I myself will admit that I sometimes get jealous. However, if I know some thread will make me jealous, I just stay out of it all together. Those people need support too and it's better to let someone else on their level answer them.

Like if I see a thread with something like "problems with my girlfriend", I'll avoid it all together because I know it will only make me jealous. It would be better just to have someone who already has a girl friend answer that thread, because they're at the same level and they likely have a clearer mind to approach the subject. Just because someone's ahead of me in development doesn't need they don't deserve support.

Jealousy can be a really slippery slop that only makes you more rotten inside. When In doubt, just opt out of posting on a thread that makes you jealous.

No-Sturm-und-Drang · 11-04-2009, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breakfast0fChampions

I've noticed the bitterness toward getting better. I suppose receiving bitterness and negativity is good training for relying on yourself for approval, though, which is what we all need anyway.

On a related note, the mass negativity on this board has really had an effect on me, as much as I would like to say it hasn't. I came to the conclusion today that just skimming through the thread topics in the New Posts search is toxic enough to bring me down, even if I don't click on the individual threads and read the rants. This disorder is tough, and it's most likely other sufferers who will understand the frustration, but it's more like a pity party than a support site when all the negativity gets blended together. I've thought about suggesting a name change from Social Anxiety Support to Social Anxiety Enabling, because it seems sometimes that this site encourages social anxiety more than it encourages recovery.

Keep making strides and making posts about them. I'll give you support.

You speak complete truth. I am glad that i am realizing this so i wont stay addicted to this website enabling myself like i have before. I hope others realize that spending hours and hours on this website wont help you its getting off that helps. Believe me i speak from experience.

11-02-2009, 11:54 AM	#1 (permalink)
No-Sturm-und-Drang Status: making awesome awesomer Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Oregon Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 235	Bitterness toward getting better? I have noticed that some people on the forum are *****y whenever I feel like i am making strides in sa and getting better. I have seen this with other people on the forum as well. Its kinda annoying to be honest. If we are doing well we should support and truely be happy that we are making strides and others are too. I guess talking about happy things pisses people off. So i guess i'm posting to tell people to stop asking for attention and start helping yourself. __________________ Dying people lie too. Wish they'd worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don't save it for a sound bite.

11-02-2009, 12:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
glarmph Status: Hiding in my basement Join Date: May 2009 Location: Illinois Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 243	Yeah, I noticed that every once in a while. Sometimes it's hard to be happy for people when you are so miserable you usually wish you were dead. __________________ Life sucks, then you die.

11-02-2009, 12:26 PM	#4 (permalink)
shadowmask Status: Seeing stars Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: TN Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 1,086	It's just envy. I'll admit, I feel that way too sometimes. Although in my case it's anger directed towards myself for not doing more to get out of this. __________________ Basically, I'm complicated I have a hard time taking the easy way I wouldn't call it schizophrenia But I'll be at least two people today

11-02-2009, 02:55 PM	#6 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 366	I agree We should take encouragement from the fact that others are getting better so we can too, but jealousy gets the best of some of us, so I can somewhat understand their negativity....but this site is called socialanxietySUPPORT so it is a given that in all levels of SA we still need support and some are gonna be doing better than you. Just learn from them...I find it encouraging more than depressing/bothersome and I'm having an extremely hard time with my SA and depression. __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

11-03-2009, 10:06 AM	#7 (permalink)
No-Sturm-und-Drang Status: making awesome awesomer Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Oregon Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 235	yeah it kinda makes me feel bad sometimes when i post something positive people kinda put you down so i took a post down because they make me feel bad for taking steps to get better. When i realized how stupid i was being and how i was just letting self loathers get to me i noticed that this goes on. Sometimes this forum is like a competition of who has the wost sa when it should be a positive forum taking steps to better mental and physical health. __________________ Dying people lie too. Wish they'd worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don't save it for a sound bite.

11-02-2009, 12:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
coldmorning Status: Add water and shake Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Northern California Gender: Male Posts: 2,125	I haven't noticed bitterness towards people getting better here. But maybe I'm not looking in the right places.

11-02-2009, 02:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
sda0 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Southern California Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 24	I've definitely noticed. I think a lot of it has to do with depression...depression and SA go hand in hand so often, and when you're depressed you can't form positive thoughts and pull yourself together long enough to see light at the end of the tunnel. Depression meds aren't always the best answer, but at least they get you into a frame of mind where you want help, and haven't resigned yourself to a life of being alone and sad.

11-03-2009, 12:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 366	Don't feel like you have to take posts down cus some people are being negative towards you! Some people really appreciate seeing those positive posts cus we are encouraged. For those who aren't forget them....jealousy is a natural human emotion, but it's also something we should work on and not let get the best of us. We all need support here, that's why we're here, from the no job, no friends, no partner to the having a job, friends, and partner, we all have SA in common and we're all trying to cope with it where we are in life. It's only natural that some people are gonna be doing better and some worse than you and we fear judgement so much, you'd think some people would notice since they have SA too how that kind of negativity towards those trying and doing well in some things would/could hurt them. Like I said this site is for support and every person with SA needs that no matter what their level of SA is and if anything we should be understanding cus we know how hard it is and are very misunderstood by the general population ourselves. __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

11-03-2009, 02:23 PM	#9 (permalink)
Breakfast0fChampions Status: Resist. Unlearn. Defy. Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In My Tree Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 676	I've noticed the bitterness toward getting better. I suppose receiving bitterness and negativity is good training for relying on yourself for approval, though, which is what we all need anyway. On a related note, the mass negativity on this board has really had an effect on me, as much as I would like to say it hasn't. I came to the conclusion today that just skimming through the thread topics in the New Posts search is toxic enough to bring me down, even if I don't click on the individual threads and read the rants. This disorder is tough, and it's most likely other sufferers who will understand the frustration, but it's more like a pity party than a support site when all the negativity gets blended together. I've thought about suggesting a name change from Social Anxiety Support to Social Anxiety Enabling, because it seems sometimes that this site encourages social anxiety more than it encourages recovery. Keep making strides and making posts about them. I'll give you support. __________________ I'mma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you - Weezer, Pork and Beans Had my eyes peeled both wide open, and I got a glimpse Of my innocence... got back my inner sense... Baby got it, still got it - Pearl Jam, In My Tree 29-Day Giving Challenge Facebook - SuperBetter! A multi-player way to beat SA - Writerly

11-03-2009, 02:36 PM	#10 (permalink)
drealm Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 295	I've noticed the bitterness. I myself will admit that I sometimes get jealous. However, if I know some thread will make me jealous, I just stay out of it all together. Those people need support too and it's better to let someone else on their level answer them. Like if I see a thread with something like "problems with my girlfriend", I'll avoid it all together because I know it will only make me jealous. It would be better just to have someone who already has a girl friend answer that thread, because they're at the same level and they likely have a clearer mind to approach the subject. Just because someone's ahead of me in development doesn't need they don't deserve support. Jealousy can be a really slippery slop that only makes you more rotten inside. When In doubt, just opt out of posting on a thread that makes you jealous.