Why can't I feel love or passion anymore? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-28-2011, 08:00 AM Thread Starter
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Why can't I feel love or passion anymore?

I've had OCD since the age of 11 and I had a depression from the age of 16 to early 19 and I'm now almost 20. I don't feel depressed anymore, but I don't really feel any emotions like I used to. This started a month before I graduated from highschool, I remember the exact day. I was sitting in a bus at 7 ish at night during the week coming back from the mall, I looked out the window and suddenly I just got the worse feeling I've ever experienced in my life, I just went numb. The feeling lasted about 2 weeks. This was unsual because I had been depressed for almost 2 years by then, so randomly not feeling anything at all was scary.

After that feeling of numbness went away, I started to feel a little better, and my depression was on and off from then on, but my strong emotions never came back. That feeling of numbness also accured a second time over the summer and also lasted about 2 weeks.

I haven't been able to attach to anyone now or feel any love or passion and I remember that thought scared me a lot, espacially when I'd look back at how amazing my life used to be and at how I used to be and thinking that I'm never going to be the same again. But now I've gotten used to it. I'm thankful that I'm not feeling sad or depressed anymore though, but I wish I could feel love and passion again, or anything.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-28-2011, 11:14 AM
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I think long term untreated (or poorly treated) depression often turns into apathy or numbness when your brain gets too tired to even process it all anymore. I've been depressed for about 14 years since my early teen years and although my depression returns sometimes mostly I just don't care about anything at all.

Probably the best thing to do is seek treatment for long term or mild depression, but it's hard to do when you are not feeling major discomfort in your life to motivate you towards action.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-28-2011, 06:16 PM
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I can relate to that feeling of numbness. I agree some therapy would help.

Is there anything you enjoy doing that makes you come alive? Sometimes there are little things that can turn on the switch. I found that doing small things that I enjoyed helped me feel more energy and passion.

Sometimes it's difficult to get motivation but sometimes action proceeds motivation.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-31-2011, 10:51 PM
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I can relate. Horrible feeling. It went away after a while though when I started changing things.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-01-2012, 01:55 AM
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Never really felt love and I ave a strong feeling tis staying that way.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2012, 05:12 AM
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I don't feel love, either--glad I'm not the only one, not that that's something to be glad about. I agree that it's likely depression manifesting itself as something new. I don't recall ever going numb--I tend to depersonalize/derealize--but I've read that's it's pretty common.

"You know that you are recalled to life?"
"They tell me so."
"I hope you care to live?"
"I can't say."

A Tale of Two Cities
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