Why can't I feel love or passion anymore?
I've had OCD since the age of 11 and I had a depression from the age of 16 to early 19 and I'm now almost 20. I don't feel depressed anymore, but I don't really feel any emotions like I used to. This started a month before I graduated from highschool, I remember the exact day. I was sitting in a bus at 7 ish at night during the week coming back from the mall, I looked out the window and suddenly I just got the worse feeling I've ever experienced in my life, I just went numb. The feeling lasted about 2 weeks. This was unsual because I had been depressed for almost 2 years by then, so randomly not feeling anything at all was scary.
After that feeling of numbness went away, I started to feel a little better, and my depression was on and off from then on, but my strong emotions never came back. That feeling of numbness also accured a second time over the summer and also lasted about 2 weeks.
I haven't been able to attach to anyone now or feel any love or passion and I remember that thought scared me a lot, espacially when I'd look back at how amazing my life used to be and at how I used to be and thinking that I'm never going to be the same again. But now I've gotten used to it. I'm thankful that I'm not feeling sad or depressed anymore though, but I wish I could feel love and passion again, or anything.