Social Anxiety Support

britisharrow · 08-16-2009, 03:52 PM

Suffering from social anxiety, the thought of a group of people walking towards me fills me with fear and dread. Recently I've been thinking that maybe viewing everyone else as a collective THEM, doesn't help matters.

Consider someone who you know would never ridicule or harm you. Now imagine you've never met that person. How do you know that's not them walking towards you?

I want to explore in this experiment if seeing people more as individuals rather than automatic threats makes social anxiety easier. You will see two pictures. The first is a group of people walking toward you, please imagine this is happening in real life. The second is the same, but there are labels that tell you something about that person. (None of the labels are true but are representative of the different kinds of people and personalities).

Do you feel less anxious about the crowd in the second picture?

Thank you for your help.

deeds14 · 08-16-2009, 08:06 PM

I do feel less anxious looking at the second picture, but it were really happening I would still feel really anxious with the second one. Yes, it makes them more familiar and relatable, but I still don't know what they're thinking about me. And that's the problem.

britisharrow · 08-16-2009, 08:48 PM

Thank you very much for your reply I appreciate it.

TheDaffodil · 08-16-2009, 09:06 PM

I feel slightly less anxiety with the second picture. In fact, I feel inclined to talk to them, haha. I bet, though, had I been asked this question before I went through therapy and everything the difference between both anxiety levels would have been greater. As I am now, I would still smile and say hi to a couple people in the first picture while worrying if I'd trip over them or something, haha.

kanarazu · 08-16-2009, 10:22 PM

The first looks like people like charging at you, the second makes them seem like normal people with faults just like me...I'd probably talk to them...

odd_one_out · 08-16-2009, 11:34 PM

I feel less anxious about the second picture because categorising things is a powerful anxiolytic for me. Detailed knowledge of each of them, whether they were saints or psychopaths, would decrease my anxiety further; knowledge gives a sense of control.

In the first picture, they all look very uniform to me; like a bunch of office staff, none of whom stand out in any way. This also makes them seem uninteresting. Looking at the second picture, my curiosity is stirred, but there's not enough information for me to want to get to know them.

KyleThomas · 08-17-2009, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by britisharrow

Suffering from social anxiety, the thought of a group of people walking towards me fills me with fear and dread. Recently I've been thinking that maybe viewing everyone else as a collective THEM, doesn't help matters.

Consider someone who you know would never ridicule or harm you. Now imagine you've never met that person. How do you know that's not them walking towards you?

In the words of Cosmo Kramer: you just blew my mind!

(And yes, the second image is a lot less intimidating.)

andy1984 · 08-17-2009, 12:45 AM

As i read the captions i looked at each of their faces and they were not as scary as individuals, when i looked at the first picture i look straight at the guy in the middle with the pink shirt and he looks a little angry or something which makes me worry about the whole group more.

AudreyHepburn · 08-17-2009, 07:37 AM

The second picture decreased my anxiety about the scenario. I'd still be anxious if 10 people were charging at me, because whether or not one person likes animals wouldn't stop them from thinking I'm a complete oaf.

Either way, interesting concept. I'm going to try and apply that to real life.

pboy · 08-17-2009, 08:17 AM

This is a great idea

The second picture does reduce my initial perception a little bit, but there's still something inside me that says "you're different, they still would hate you and think you're weird, whether they're nice or not". Its a sort of sense that Im an exception, that my 'issues' make me totally different from everyone. Not that I think mine are worse or more painful, just that they are unacceptable to 'everyone else' and that they wouldn't like me.

Pam · 08-17-2009, 03:33 PM

It's pretty amazing how this shows how I project my self-criticism onto others and think "they" all hate me. (and so to protect myself, I hate, or at least judge, them.)

Then in the second picture, I "get to know" the person and the projection can begin to fade, and I can start to see the real individual that they are instead of what I fear they are.

Pam · 08-17-2009, 03:41 PM

I'd be drawn to #2, 3, 6, 7, & 8 (numbering the people left to right)

But not the deaf guy or the girl recovering from cancer. Communicating with a hearing person is hard enough with the SA

, and the cancer thing scares me to death and I never know what to say to anyone who is sick for any length of time.

britisharrow · 08-17-2009, 04:04 PM

Thank you all for your input I appreciate you taking the time, I hope that this can be the basis for understanding social anxiety more and if I hit on anything that can help I will tell you. Maybe a workbook designed around the premise of this or something.

I'm at the stage I'll give anything a try, even if it means devising my own therapy.

VanillaBean · 08-17-2009, 06:50 PM

Yup, second group is better. When my sympathy kicks in (deaf guy) a lot of anxiety is alleviated. Still ridiculous nervous though.

VanillaBean · 08-17-2009, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pam

I'd be drawn to #2, 3, 6, 7, & 8 (numbering the people left to right)

But not the deaf guy or the girl recovering from cancer. Communicating with a hearing person is hard enough with the SA

, and the cancer thing scares me to death and I never know what to say to anyone who is sick for any length of time.

This is interesting to me, perhaps its a personality difference. I am especially drawn to deaf guy and cancer girl. Because once I know a person is suffering, I am a lot less intimidated by them, maybe because I feel like they would be more understanding of me as a person, too? And also I want to help them.

Just Lurking · 08-18-2009, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VanillaBean

Because once I know a person is suffering, I am a lot less intimidated by them, maybe because I feel like they would be more understanding of me as a person, too? And also I want to help them.

This applies to me too. Once I become aware of some hardship a person is facing, that person tends to become less intimidating. I feel like they're on the same level as me and would be more understanding/sympathetic to other people's problems.

Interesting experiment.

Happ2beme · 08-18-2009, 12:16 PM

OK, I'm weird.

For me, looking at the second picture, it made me feel really anxious. Only because knowing these things I imagine them knowing I know. Witch might lead to a conversation.

Pam · 08-18-2009, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VanillaBean

This is interesting to me, perhaps its a personality difference. I am especially drawn to deaf guy and cancer girl. Because once I know a person is suffering, I am a lot less intimidated by them, maybe because I feel like they would be more understanding of me as a person, too? And also I want to help them.

I think it definitely shows who we can relate to as individuals. I can relate to people who have been bullied, are friendless, feel old, torture themselves, or have gone thru a loss (death of a parent).

I've never known anyone who was deaf, but I'm pretty sure deaf people don't see themselves as "suffering"....

08-16-2009, 03:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
britisharrow Status: 3rd SAS Battalion Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Glasgow, UK Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 455	Would you take part in this visual experiment? Suffering from social anxiety, the thought of a group of people walking towards me fills me with fear and dread. Recently I've been thinking that maybe viewing everyone else as a collective THEM, doesn't help matters. Consider someone who you know would never ridicule or harm you. Now imagine you've never met that person. How do you know that's not them walking towards you? I want to explore in this experiment if seeing people more as individuals rather than automatic threats makes social anxiety easier. You will see two pictures. The first is a group of people walking toward you, please imagine this is happening in real life. The second is the same, but there are labels that tell you something about that person. (None of the labels are true but are representative of the different kinds of people and personalities). Do you feel less anxious about the crowd in the second picture? Thank you for your help.

08-16-2009, 09:06 PM	#4 (permalink)
TheDaffodil Status: Antsy. Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Maryland Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 1,166	I feel slightly less anxiety with the second picture. In fact, I feel inclined to talk to them, haha. I bet, though, had I been asked this question before I went through therapy and everything the difference between both anxiety levels would have been greater. As I am now, I would still smile and say hi to a couple people in the first picture while worrying if I'd trip over them or something, haha. __________________ "Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt." - William Shakespeare NotForSaleCampaign.org \| StopTheTraffik.org \| SlaveryMap.org

08-17-2009, 03:33 PM	#11 (permalink)
Pam Status: Never Fitting In Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: western New York Gender: Female Age: 41 Posts: 234	It's pretty amazing how this shows how I project my self-criticism onto others and think "they" all hate me. (and so to protect myself, I hate, or at least judge, them.) Then in the second picture, I "get to know" the person and the projection can begin to fade, and I can start to see the real individual that they are instead of what I fear they are. __________________ I don't need anyone to approve of what I say or do...but it's always nice when someone does.

08-17-2009, 03:41 PM	#12 (permalink)
Pam Status: Never Fitting In Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: western New York Gender: Female Age: 41 Posts: 234	I'd be drawn to #2, 3, 6, 7, & 8 (numbering the people left to right) But not the deaf guy or the girl recovering from cancer. Communicating with a hearing person is hard enough with the SA , and the cancer thing scares me to death and I never know what to say to anyone who is sick for any length of time. __________________ I don't need anyone to approve of what I say or do...but it's always nice when someone does.

08-18-2009, 12:16 PM	#17 (permalink)
Happ2beme Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Yucaipa, California Gender: Male Age: 45 Posts: 241	OK, I'm weird. For me, looking at the second picture, it made me feel really anxious. Only because knowing these things I imagine them knowing I know. Witch might lead to a conversation. __________________ Edward Scissorhands. You give the quote "nothing is what it seems" its real meaning! You deserve more than you get, but it takes time and effort knowing you for people to understand they have the real deal here. You are totally original although too idealistic, which makes it difficult for you to be understood...

08-16-2009, 08:06 PM	#2 (permalink)
deeds14 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 256	I do feel less anxious looking at the second picture, but it were really happening I would still feel really anxious with the second one. Yes, it makes them more familiar and relatable, but I still don't know what they're thinking about me. And that's the problem.

08-16-2009, 08:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
britisharrow Status: 3rd SAS Battalion Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Glasgow, UK Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 455	Thank you very much for your reply I appreciate it.

08-16-2009, 10:22 PM	#5 (permalink)
kanarazu Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: St. Louis Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 97	The first looks like people like charging at you, the second makes them seem like normal people with faults just like me...I'd probably talk to them...

08-16-2009, 11:34 PM	#6 (permalink)
odd_one_out Status: Active-but-odd Join Date: Aug 2006 Age: 32 Posts: 1,215	I feel less anxious about the second picture because categorising things is a powerful anxiolytic for me. Detailed knowledge of each of them, whether they were saints or psychopaths, would decrease my anxiety further; knowledge gives a sense of control. In the first picture, they all look very uniform to me; like a bunch of office staff, none of whom stand out in any way. This also makes them seem uninteresting. Looking at the second picture, my curiosity is stirred, but there's not enough information for me to want to get to know them.

08-17-2009, 12:45 AM	#8 (permalink)
andy1984 Status: Baron von Andy Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Palmerston North, New Zealand Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,161	As i read the captions i looked at each of their faces and they were not as scary as individuals, when i looked at the first picture i look straight at the guy in the middle with the pink shirt and he looks a little angry or something which makes me worry about the whole group more.

08-17-2009, 08:17 AM	#10 (permalink)
pboy Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 18	This is a great idea The second picture does reduce my initial perception a little bit, but there's still something inside me that says "you're different, they still would hate you and think you're weird, whether they're nice or not". Its a sort of sense that Im an exception, that my 'issues' make me totally different from everyone. Not that I think mine are worse or more painful, just that they are unacceptable to 'everyone else' and that they wouldn't like me.

08-17-2009, 04:04 PM	#13 (permalink)
britisharrow Status: 3rd SAS Battalion Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Glasgow, UK Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 455	Thank you all for your input I appreciate you taking the time, I hope that this can be the basis for understanding social anxiety more and if I hit on anything that can help I will tell you. Maybe a workbook designed around the premise of this or something. I'm at the stage I'll give anything a try, even if it means devising my own therapy.

08-17-2009, 06:50 PM	#14 (permalink)
VanillaBean Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 23	Yup, second group is better. When my sympathy kicks in (deaf guy) a lot of anxiety is alleviated. Still ridiculous nervous though.