what helped and what didn't

[overthetop23]

I'm a member of this forum for quite a while now, however I've never been posting much. I guess I was just too lazy. What interested me most on SAS were always threads that had some kind of proposition to offer as to how to get better. In the course of the years (diagnosed 7 year ago, but suffered from it for about 15 years) I tried lots and lots of stuff, but only during the last 1.5 years have I started to see some progress. I'm now getting better and better and will maybe overcome this affliction one day completely. I thought maybe it's time to share some of my experiences now. Here's what helped me and what didn't ...

what didn't help:

1) - Homeopathy

I spent lots of money on this kind of therapy and got nothing in return. Was stupid enough to try it out for almost 10 sessions though, before finally realizing that this doesn't help at all.

2) - Orthomolecular therapy

You probably never heard about this kind of therapy before. Basically, according to people who adhere to the concept, all kinds of mental illnesses can be caused by a lack of nutrients in your system, or too many toxins in your body. The concept was invented by a guy called Linus Pauling, the only human being ever to have received two nobel prizes. So I thought, okay, the guy cannot have been that stupid, let's try it out. Unfortunately, as with Homeopathy, no result at all, other than a big hole in my wallet.

3) - Thinkrightnow.com

Many people on SAS have recommended it. I used it a whole year consistently without any success.

4) - Acupunture

See 1), 2) and 3)

5) - EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)

Involves tapping certain spots on your body to release all kinds of bad energies. Derived from acupunture. Lot's of people have reported about their success with it, also on this site. I tried it for more than a year with very limited success. However, since the process is very easy to learn and free, you don't have anything to lose by trying EFT, so maybe give it a go anyway.

6) - Drugs

Tried only three kinds, each for about a year. No reduction in symptoms whatsoever.


what helped me:

1) - Never beating myself up

This was the first step to get better. For years and years i beat myself up for most anything. For example, if I knew there was a party going on somewhere and I would stay home b/c I was too afraid to go, I would beat myself up all evening for being such a coward, for being such a bore, for missing out on my life, for not exposing myself to the feared situation. If I would go to the party, I would beat myself up for not talking enough to the others, for being too uptight, for being such a bore. One day I realized this is not very constructive. So I tried to stop beating myself up. It was hard at the beginning, but got easier soon. Once I managed to do this, quite a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I began to feel what it's like to accept myself the way I am.

2) - Learning that I am not that different

This is really hard to understand for an SA'er, but we are not that different. We have been diagnosed with SA, but does does it say about us? Nothing! The criteria for being diagnosed with SA are completely arbitrary, as with all so-called mental illnesses. If I recall correctly, you have to satisfy 7 out of 10 criteria in order to be considered as having SA. Why not 4, why not 10? For many people (including myself) it might initially come as a relief to hear that one's affliction has a name. But soon it becomes a burden and a stigma. One starts to define oneself not as a human being with severe problems, but as someone who is mentally ill. This I find dangerous, because it makes you feel substantially different from everyone else, which I don't think is the case.

3) - Not comparing myself to others

Comparing myself to people from my peer group (through envy-enhancing technology like facebook for example), always brought me down. All my former schoolmates did so much, lived their dreams, had nicely paying jobs, had girlfriends and always a smile on their faces, while I had nothing or at least not very much. Well, that is still the case, but I hardly care anymore, because I forced myself to stop those unhealthy comparisons to others.

4) - Self-Hypnosis

Finally a technique. I haven't been doing this for very long, but with great success. CBT had been somewhat helpful on the cognitive level, but it never really made me feel any different. With Self-Hypnosis this is different. The first time I managed to hypnotize myself, I felt the most beautiful, peaceful feeling ever. I hadn't been happy for years, so this was quite amazing. Not to mention that the feeling lasted. Not in the same intensity, but still I know I have undergone some substantial subconscious changes. I simply dont feel self-conscious in the presence of others anymore. I dont feel their scrutinizing looks anymore (which had never been there in the first place). I am quite confident to speak up in group setting and feel comfortable even if I have nothing to say. Try it out. You have nothing to lose.

Okay, I hope this helped someone, good luck to you all...

overthetop

[b8ts]

Hey overthetop23 thanks very much for sharing this information, i appreciate it and hope to find it helpful!
Damn that sucks though about the thinkrightnow audio cd's because i recently ordered them and i am waiting to try it. I have also been checking out EFT lately and started experimenting with it. Would you be willing to give more information about self hypnosis or if you know any good links to recommend? My biggest problem is speaking in front of a group of people whether it be a social gathering or meeting, i get panic attacks quite often.

Thanks again,
Shawn

[overthetop23]

Hi Shawn,

I hope that the thinkrightnow program will help you anyway. As for Self-Hypnosis, I heard that "Instant Self-Hypnosis" by Forbes Robbins Blair is a very good book. I haven't read it though. I only read Melvin Powers' "A Practical Guide to Self-Hypnosis" which you can get for free on http://www.gutenberg.org and which explains the whole process quite thoroughly. And please don't give up if you don't manage to hypnotize yourself during the first sessions. You have to learn the process. I'm still at the beginning myself and don't manage to hypnotize myself everytime I try. But the few hypnotic experiences I had so far totally convinced me to stick with it.

all the best,

overthetop

[overthetop23]

btw Shawn,

you might want to check out some posts by a member of http://www.social-anxiety.org.uk called SleepingGiant. He has much more to about Self-Hypnosis to say than I do.

best regards

[b8ts]

Thanks so much overthetop23, it's cool of you to take the time and effort to explain all of the different things you've tried. This was the kind of information i have been wanting to see more of (feedback of what poeple tried and what they think works vs doesn't work).
Thanks also for providing the links on self hypnosis, i'm glad it's working for you and i hope it can do the same for myself and others.

Regards,
Shawn

[deeds14]

Good post! I'm interested in trying self-hypnosis, so I'll read that book you recommended.

[Honeybee1980]

Thanks for all the great information! I too am going to give self hypnosis a shot

[STKinTHEmud]

Thanks for the advice!

[strawberryjulius]

Thanks for the information.