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Old 07-05-2010, 09:00 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Want to change my therapist and psychiatrist..

So, I've been seeing my therapist for around 10 sessions maybe. I'm not quite sure. But things have started to become repetitive, I don't feel much help being given, and her personality is starting to irk me. When I talk she looks like her eyes are unfocused and she's on drugs or something. My next session with her is tomorrow and I think I want to tell her that I would like to see another therapist in the SAME OFFICE, for a second opinion. I would also like to switch my psychiatrist for the other psychiatrist in the same office.

How do I do this without offending her or making things awkward? I would just go to an entirely different office to avoid this but I met this other therapist in passing and he seemed so genuine, nice and funny, I'd really like to meet with him. But how do I make this not awkward? Even if I do change over to someone else, I will see her in passing in the office.

What should I say or do? I'm at a complete loss. Words like 'second opinion', 'repetitive' are resounding in my head and thats it. How do I make this comfortable?
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Old 07-05-2010, 09:49 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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hey im in the same situation right now however i choose to be deperessed and not hurt the therapist...instead of changing her...idk how to go about it at all...so i decided to just chagne offices and not see anyone there....but the problem with that is i have to wait about 2 months for an intake appt at the other place =(...but to answer your question i think you should try to talk to the head of the office the one who runs things around there and if there isnt such a person just sit donw there with ur therapist and just seem sweet and say it in a nice polite way...tell me how things go because im in the same situation and would to hear about how it went
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Old 07-05-2010, 09:52 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I'm not sure who 'runs things' at this office. I can't just randomly stop seeing my present therapist, I have to talk to her and explain that I want to see someone else. And yeah, I will come back tomorrow and say how it went. That is, if I have the courage to do it.
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Old 07-05-2010, 09:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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You could always call and tell the person who makes the appointments that you want to switch. I could see how it could be a little awkward to tell her in session. You could make some excuse like you think you'd be more comfortable with a male therapist or something, so it doesn't seem personal. Even though professionally she shouldn't take it personally anyway.
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Old 07-05-2010, 10:16 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I would like to just call and switch, but I feel that its inevitable that I have to talk to my present therapist. They are constantly walking around and talking to their patients in the waiting room. I thought maybe it would less rude if I told her myself that I wanted to switch. If she takes it badly, which she shouldn't as a professional, I'm simply going to go to a different office.

And she wouldn't believe that I would feel more comfortable with a male therapist because I have a fear of men. But there was something about this particular guy that was very genuine and comfortable. That's why I want to see him. I don't feel my particular therapist is genuine. Or helping at all.
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Old 07-05-2010, 10:54 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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I'm sure therapists are used to people leaving them for other therapists. Sometimes they might even suggest you see someone else. If you don't click with the person you aren't going to get adequate treatment.
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Old 07-05-2010, 10:55 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Yeah I understand how it would be difficult to tell her that, but you aren't doing yourself any good with a therapist that you don't like. I really don't know what I would say to her either, so I guess I'm not much help haha.
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Old 07-05-2010, 11:07 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShyViolet View Post
I'm sure therapists are used to people leaving them for other therapists. Sometimes they might even suggest you see someone else. If you don't click with the person you aren't going to get adequate treatment.
I'm sure they are used to it, but I can tell my therapist doesn't want me to leave her. I'm a money resource. Haha. My first therapist, who was a trainee, openly admitted that she didn't have the resources to help me as I had hoped and she recommended someone else. That was honest of her. This one is not so honest.

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Yeah I understand how it would be difficult to tell her that, but you aren't doing yourself any good with a therapist that you don't like. I really don't know what I would say to her either, so I guess I'm not much help haha.
Its okay that you're not much help. I just want to talk about it because I'm extremely nervous. I just know that I need to do it because she isn't helping.
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Old 07-07-2010, 12:44 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Update:

It was horrible. I'm not just saying that as the distorted mind of a social phobic. It actually WAS horrible. We started the session as normal but I didn't have much to say or talk about. So eventually we got on the topic of me possibly seeing one of the other therapists in the office. I could tell she was slightly offended but it was expected. She brought the other guy therapist in that I want to try out and we made an appointment. He was saying how it is normal to switch therapists because its about the patient. He was really nice and truthful. She pretended to hold the same opinion. Then he left, and all of a sudden, she completely changed into a *****.

She hurriedly collected my papers stood up and said that now that I wasted a half an hour where she felt rejected, blah blah, I need to speak up, and then she opened the door of her office, told me that my hour was up and to go. Gesturing to the door. She said this all in a hard and raised voice that I was completely shocked to hear. I ended up crying uncontrollably as I handed over the co-pay for the session. (I'm planning on trying to get that freaking money back) I couldn't believe how unprofessional and personal she took it. I sent her an email which I believe shows who the real professional is in this situation (me) and hopefully makes her feel like the lesser person. I'll let you know the response.

It might be a tad awkward now that I'm scheduled to this other therapist in the same office. We'll see how it goes from here.
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Old 07-07-2010, 01:09 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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^
Wow.

Good for you for raising the subject in the first place. The therapy is for you, not for the doctor, and you need to feel like you're getting what you need out of it, otherwise what's the point. Not to mention you're paying for it. If you don't click with a doctor, find a new one. And you did.

The behaviour and attitude of the female doctor was simply unprofessional - case closed. I can definitely understand why you would feel bad during and after that situation -- no doubt I would have been quite upset too. (Or I would have had the rare gonads I sometimes get in anger-inducing situations like that and called her out on her bad behaviour.) But you can at least rest easy knowing that you tried to handle it in a professional manner, and she completely dropped the ball.

If anything, this just goes to show that "professionals" like this are no different than all the other ****ed up human beings out there. She apparently has her own issues to deal with.

Good luck with your new doctor. Hopefully you are as comfortable with him as you think you will be. I'm also curious to know if she responds to your email.
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Old 07-07-2010, 08:43 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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^

She did respond to my email this morning. I could still sense a lot of offensive talk in the email. She apologized for the way she behaved but then she went on saying that she had a method that she was going to use. (Which I doubt, the sessions never had any substance) and how she thinks the therapist I'm about to see wouldn't know how to handle my serious problems. Which I find offensive because she's basically calling her fellow colleague incompetent. Which I'm sure he'd love to hear.

Basically it was a long email saying how she is the only one that understands my problems and other therapists in the office are not qualified to help me. She also insisted that trusting a psychiatrist's personality doesn't matter. What the hell? Why would trust not be an issue for the person that is putting powerful medications in my mouth?

I don't know how things are going to work out with this other therapist. If I really really like him, than I'll try to stay at this office. If I get the slightest feeling that he's not going to help I'm getting the **** out of that crazy office.
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Old 07-07-2010, 12:18 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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She is completely wrong and unprofessional. I was a psychology major and we talked a lot about the therapist/client relationship in one of my classes. Trust is extremely important. Even if she was an excellent therapist (which it doesn't sound like she is), if you (as the client) don't feel like you have trust or aren't comfortable for whatever reason then therapy isn't going to do you much good at all. I had another psychology teacher tell the class that he had recently had a client leave him because she felt she would be more comfortable with a female. He said he would never take that personal no matter what the reason would be for someone leaving, he just wants the best for his client and understands that he might not always be what is best. That is the attitude that a real professional therapist should have, not the attitude that quack lady had. It is good you got away from her. Hope that this other man will be much better for you.
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Old 07-07-2010, 12:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Also, since this new therapist is in the same office, make sure you tell him about her behavior. Hopefully he will agree that it was unprofessional and uncalled for and hopefully he will discuss it with her.
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Old 07-07-2010, 12:53 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I think I have to careful what I say however. ^ If they are friends, me saying how badly she acted might not be the best thing to do. But then again, she said over and over that he was incompetent... Perhaps he should know she's saying things like that behind his back to potential clients.
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Old 07-07-2010, 01:06 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homersxchild View Post
Update:

It was horrible. I'm not just saying that as the distorted mind of a social phobic. It actually WAS horrible. We started the session as normal but I didn't have much to say or talk about. So eventually we got on the topic of me possibly seeing one of the other therapists in the office. I could tell she was slightly offended but it was expected. She brought the other guy therapist in that I want to try out and we made an appointment. He was saying how it is normal to switch therapists because its about the patient. He was really nice and truthful. She pretended to hold the same opinion. Then he left, and all of a sudden, she completely changed into a *****.

She hurriedly collected my papers stood up and said that now that I wasted a half an hour where she felt rejected, blah blah, I need to speak up, and then she opened the door of her office, told me that my hour was up and to go. Gesturing to the door. She said this all in a hard and raised voice that I was completely shocked to hear. I ended up crying uncontrollably as I handed over the co-pay for the session. (I'm planning on trying to get that freaking money back) I couldn't believe how unprofessional and personal she took it. I sent her an email which I believe shows who the real professional is in this situation (me) and hopefully makes her feel like the lesser person. I'll let you know the response.

It might be a tad awkward now that I'm scheduled to this other therapist in the same office. We'll see how it goes from here.
Oh my god. That's terrible. But it is all too common to hear about therapist's own problems overshadowing their requirement to help patients.
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Old 07-07-2010, 01:08 PM   #16 (permalink)
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This story sounds kind of familiar...I had a crappy female therapist/psychiatric nurse who acted like that too, but I saw her for 3 years.

Look at how good your instincts were about her! You ended up being right--that she would react so negatively to you wanting to see someone else. If I was you, I'd trust my own instincts a lot more in life. You'll usually be right.

Which leads me to your feeling of comfort with the male doctor. Not only is that a good sign he's right for you, but also how you said you are afraid of men. This is the reason you should see a male! Hopefully things go smoothly with him and you end up learning to be comfortable with men through a corrective experience with him.

Good Luck! Please update sometime in the future again. I hope it goes well for you!
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Old 07-07-2010, 01:09 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Thank God you quit with her. And by the way, if she keeps emailing you, don't respond to her at all. Mark her as JUNK. Lol!
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Old 07-07-2010, 01:40 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homersxchild View Post
Update:

It was horrible. I'm not just saying that as the distorted mind of a social phobic. It actually WAS horrible. We started the session as normal but I didn't have much to say or talk about. So eventually we got on the topic of me possibly seeing one of the other therapists in the office. I could tell she was slightly offended but it was expected. She brought the other guy therapist in that I want to try out and we made an appointment. He was saying how it is normal to switch therapists because its about the patient. He was really nice and truthful. She pretended to hold the same opinion. Then he left, and all of a sudden, she completely changed into a *****.

She hurriedly collected my papers stood up and said that now that I wasted a half an hour where she felt rejected, blah blah, I need to speak up, and then she opened the door of her office, told me that my hour was up and to go. Gesturing to the door. She said this all in a hard and raised voice that I was completely shocked to hear. I ended up crying uncontrollably as I handed over the co-pay for the session. (I'm planning on trying to get that freaking money back) I couldn't believe how unprofessional and personal she took it. I sent her an email which I believe shows who the real professional is in this situation (me) and hopefully makes her feel like the lesser person. I'll let you know the response.

It might be a tad awkward now that I'm scheduled to this other therapist in the same office. We'll see how it goes from here.
Wow, that was very unprofessional and immature of her. You should ask the new therapist who's in charge and tell them about it.
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Old 07-12-2010, 11:01 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Wow, that was very unprofessional and immature of her. You should ask the new therapist who's in charge and tell them about it.
Sad thing is... I think my therapist 'was' the person who was in charge.

Anyway.. I'm seeing the new guy today. This is a bit awkward because I know I'm not planning on staying here long. Mainly because they force you to see the psychiatrist and I am NOT sticking with someone I don't trust in the least. It's not just a slight discomfort. I do not trust him AT ALL. That means his judgment as well. So, I don't even know if I should go in too deep with this therapist if I'm not staying there long.
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Old 07-12-2010, 03:36 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Update:

New guy is *****ing awesome! I can't wait to see him next week. He was stimulating, light-hearted and yet understood the depth of my problems. He actually, guess what, LISTENED to what I said. Instead of just replacing my words with things read in a textbook. He LISTENED to my theories, instead of force-feeding me his own.

I did run into my former therapist though. We exchanged two stony hellos and then my new therapist had to get my file from her.

On the topic of the psychiatrist. I told him that I really don't feel comfortable with the guy, and he understood immediately. (Unlike my former therapist) and he said he would email me a couple names of private psychiatrists that I could see and still see him at the same time if I wanted to. I think I'm love.
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