Social Anxiety Support

Pixie100 · 11-05-2009, 05:31 PM

Hi everyone!

Does your therapist stay silent for an obnoxious period of time to out wait you, thus making you talk first? It's like a deadlock of who will speak first. It doesn't make me uncomfortable but I wonder what he would do if I just outlasted him? Has anyone else had an experience similar to this?

Dempsey · 11-05-2009, 05:33 PM

Well the session usually lasts only an hour so I try not to just sit there doing nothing. That's what's on my mind.

carambola · 11-05-2009, 05:34 PM

I always thought about what a waste of money it was when there were silent periods

. I don't think mine were necessarily trying to get me to talk first, though. They may have just been waiting to see if I had anything else to say, or maybe they weren't sure what to say next.

odd_one_out · 11-06-2009, 03:42 AM

I find it ridiculous when therapists do this. One of mine treated it as a competition between us. He thought one day he could "win" against my silence and not have to be the one to break it. He would become so uncomfortable with the length of the silences at the commencement of each session, he would be unable to resist breaking them himself.

pokeherpro · 11-06-2009, 04:46 AM

I think sitting with someone, even a therapist(at first), and intentionally being quiet, might be a good therapy technique. It could allow you to release that pressure to talk and socialize, and it'd allow you to have "being quiet" as an acceptable thing. It'd allow you to also become aware of how your body reacts as a feeling of potential panic starts and manifests.

Toad Licker · 11-06-2009, 10:56 AM

My last counselor would do this but she didn't seem very talkative so I think it was just that neither of us talked much that we'd have long silences.

ShyViolet · 11-06-2009, 03:09 PM

Yeah, and when they stare at me with a look on their face like "Well...?" I makes me even more afraid to talk.

markko · 11-14-2009, 09:51 AM

Being comfortable in quiet situations has always been something I've struggled with. Maybe that's what they are trying to expose us to. The longer we can remain quiet, the more we are facing our fear.

Just a thought...

Half Asleep · 11-14-2009, 11:53 PM

Do they all use this technique then? I'm becoming worried about starting therapy.

VanDamMan · 11-15-2009, 02:44 PM

This is a common technique.

They don't want to choose or dominate your therapy route. Only you know what is bothering you. By staying silent, it eventually comes out.

But they should give some input or guide your path.

11-05-2009, 05:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
Pixie100 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 2	The silence technique Hi everyone! Does your therapist stay silent for an obnoxious period of time to out wait you, thus making you talk first? It's like a deadlock of who will speak first. It doesn't make me uncomfortable but I wonder what he would do if I just outlasted him? Has anyone else had an experience similar to this?

11-06-2009, 10:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 29,592	My last counselor would do this but she didn't seem very talkative so I think it was just that neither of us talked much that we'd have long silences. __________________ All will wither, go to sleep The ones you love you may not keep All you touch will fall apart The dreams you kill will break your heart There's no mercy, there's no rest The void will scream within your chest No one knows and no one will So leave this place that makes you Ill - Madder Mortem

11-05-2009, 05:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
Dempsey Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Sydney Australia Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 631	Well the session usually lasts only an hour so I try not to just sit there doing nothing. That's what's on my mind.

11-05-2009, 05:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
carambola Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: California Age: 24 Posts: 735	I always thought about what a waste of money it was when there were silent periods . I don't think mine were necessarily trying to get me to talk first, though. They may have just been waiting to see if I had anything else to say, or maybe they weren't sure what to say next.

11-06-2009, 03:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
odd_one_out Status: Active-but-odd Join Date: Aug 2006 Age: 32 Posts: 1,207	I find it ridiculous when therapists do this. One of mine treated it as a competition between us. He thought one day he could "win" against my silence and not have to be the one to break it. He would become so uncomfortable with the length of the silences at the commencement of each session, he would be unable to resist breaking them himself.

11-06-2009, 04:46 AM	#5 (permalink)
pokeherpro Status: Previously Banned Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Canada eh? Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,375	I think sitting with someone, even a therapist(at first), and intentionally being quiet, might be a good therapy technique. It could allow you to release that pressure to talk and socialize, and it'd allow you to have "being quiet" as an acceptable thing. It'd allow you to also become aware of how your body reacts as a feeling of potential panic starts and manifests.

11-06-2009, 03:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
ShyViolet Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 1,942	Yeah, and when they stare at me with a look on their face like "Well...?" I makes me even more afraid to talk.

11-14-2009, 09:51 AM	#8 (permalink)
markko Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 16	Being comfortable in quiet situations has always been something I've struggled with. Maybe that's what they are trying to expose us to. The longer we can remain quiet, the more we are facing our fear. Just a thought...

11-14-2009, 11:53 PM	#9 (permalink)
Half Asleep Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: England Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 18	Do they all use this technique then? I'm becoming worried about starting therapy.

11-15-2009, 02:44 PM	#10 (permalink)
VanDamMan Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 59	This is a common technique. They don't want to choose or dominate your therapy route. Only you know what is bothering you. By staying silent, it eventually comes out. But they should give some input or guide your path.