This is my first post. I was just searching the internet for what people thought about hypnotheraphy and arrived here. I have a moderate ammount of social anxiety.
I joined because I also have a fear of change and found the answer to why I do although I haven't solved the problem. Couldn't resist sharing my discoveries.
We fear change because change marks a before and an after. It accentuates the passing of time. This can cause many bad feelings in us. Mainly the fear of death. However much your subconcious doesn't want time to pass, time passes and there is nothing you can do about it.
You may remember when you where young waking up one night crying because you didn't want to die.
For me, fear of change also creates a feeling of fear of regret for not changing before, for having "wasted" my life in fear.
We need to accept that nothing is forever and stuff comes to an end much sooner than we think. We also need to learn how to let go of the past.
Use the past as a tool to live the present, not the present as a tool to relive the past.
How to do all this I have no idea. (I hope my shrink can help me out here)
We also need to manage our control issues. I want to be sure it's going to be ok and have everything under control whenever I decide to leave home (gulp).
But the truth is that we are all helpless, exposed, our butts in the air, along with everyone else.
Think that you are going to move out, you may feel lonely, even more sad, anxious, different, vulnerable, cold, hungry, etc. But at least you will be creating new memories, learning new life lessons, becoming stronger by facing a fear, learning how to cook stuff, how to clean an oven, running to the store with a half-soiled butt because you forgot to buy TP, etc.
Sounds bad. But if you accept the bad you won't be subconciously angry when you find out your expectations where too high. Subconcious anger makes you depressed.
However you can establish a feeling of safety through a routine. It makes you feel that life is more predictable.
Also know that on an existencial level, you along with everyone else will always be alone because nobody feels exactly what you feel from your perspective no matter how empathic the other person is.
We are like computers. Some more connected to the internet than others, but all alone inside their cases unable to tell other computers how dusty they feel their fans are.
Woo... 6:45am. Better get to bed.