SA and loss of self

[benjamin]

delete.

[Efsee]

Originally Posted by benjamin

but letting pressure prevent me from expressing myself or being genuine for so long ive lost myself, i have no personality/identity, i was asking myself

"Who are you" all i could say is that I'm a depressed teenager who let too many people tell him how he should act and lost his individuality and personality along the way. who has only ever really hung out with people who would barely call him a friend, and who he could barely call friends.

You have opinions right? Just because you don't openly express them doesn't mean you've lost yourself. I can relate to a lot of what you've said, It seems like for the most part of my life I've been looking to other people for acceptance more than to myself. I've been hiding for so long that It is now very difficult for me to put myself out there even a tiny bit, something that comes naturally to most people.

Another thing to keep in mind is that you're still a teenager, you haven't found your niche or whatever, the teen years and on into the 20's is a time of finding out who you are.

I'm sorry I don't have very good advice, I'm struggling with similar things myself.

[John_in_SF]

Originally Posted by benjamin

and the reason i cant bring myself to make any meaningful connections is because I'm too socially afraid to do anything that might show emotion, strong opinion, or basically anything.

How well I know that feeling. So if you don't show emotion, or opinions, or basically anything, of course . . . what is left of you? I have the same feeling a lot of the time. I have no idea who I am.

[Phoenix87]

I was in much of the same position. Today I find myself still trying to figure out who I am and my purpose in life.

All I know for sure, is that I have an urge to travel, and I think if I follow that urge I'll be forced to interact with new and interesting people. I'll have to just be myself and through that I will find out who I really am.

I hope that's how things work out for me, although life can change pretty quickly. I hope you find your way as well, just keep trying... You'll get there, and please never give up on yourself.

Peace.

[Jaiyyson]

Originally Posted by Efsee

It seems like for the most part of my life I've been looking to other people for acceptance more than to myself.

And here lies the key, friend. Can you accept yourself? Be sure to not be thinking of what you think other people are thinking about you but whether or not you are truly happy with who you are as a person.

I'm sure you're a nice chap so the answer should be yes. And there's your starting point.