Social Anxiety Support

mamalette · 11-03-2009, 05:51 PM

I just went to a therapy appointment, I haven't seen a therapist since I was a child. She asked about my family history and how things were going at the moment. I told her about how my anxiety is getting so bad that I can function, I dont want to leave my house and I am having anxiety attacks constantly. She told me that I had to be and adult and get over it, those were her exact words. I told her its not as simple as just getting over it, I literally feel like im in a tiny box and cant breathe and I just shut down, and she told me that I need to get on antidepressants and until then I will just have to learn to get over it. Thats pretty much all she said during my session. I am just wondering if therapists all are like this or if it was just her. I really want to get a new therapist but I dont know if this is all just my anxiety making me think this or not, can anyone help me out?

Phoenix87 · 11-03-2009, 05:55 PM

She's terrible, go find someone that cares.
Sounds like she's just wasting your time and money.

kc1895 · 11-03-2009, 10:15 PM

Its hard to tell from what you've said. Are her exact words to just get over your anxiety, or was she referring to a specific situation where you have to cope in order to make progress? Either way, telling someone to just "get over it" is not professional or helpful for a therapist to say. They aren't supposed to give you advice or brush off your problem. But it seems to me that there is more to this story. Maybe you are misinterpreting?

Breakfast0fChampions · 11-03-2009, 10:29 PM

No, this isn't how therapy should go. Find a new therapist, because this one isn't doing her job right.

papaSmurf · 11-03-2009, 11:01 PM

Yeah, as everyone is saying, this is pretty much terrible. No therapist worth his/her salt should ever make light of a problem that's obviously causing you considerable distress. There are good therapists out there though, so keep looking!

ShyViolet · 11-05-2009, 01:02 PM

She's an idiot who should not be in that line of work.

Homersxchild · 11-05-2009, 01:06 PM

No, that's not how it should go. If this woman knew anything, she would know that people with SAD cannot just 'get over it', that's the whole point of therapy, to help us get over it.

I'm guessing she wasn't experienced in anxiety disorders? I think you should search out someone who is. I went to a therapist once, but she was a general family therapist, she didn't really know how to handle someone with anxiety. After a couple sessions she told me she didn't know how to help me anymore other than just talking about it. But she never once told me to just 'get over it', she knew it was too hard for me. So, it sounds like yours was just a *****. Don't give up on all therapists because of one person that's misinformed.

JMX · 11-05-2009, 01:28 PM

You might as well ask a stranger the same question, because they will give you the same response: "just get over it"

My therapist didn't give breathtaking advice, but what was very comforting was that she understood the situation I was in. I gave specific examples on how I felt in certain situations, and she was able to create a picture from it. When I kept giving more examples of social situations I've been in, sometimes she will interrupt and guess how I felt, which was almost spot-on.

I think it's not only a lack of expertise on your therapist's part, but also a lack of communication. Of course, this is none of your fault if you've been giving detailed explanations of your experiences. My advice is to find someone else who can understand the situations you've been going through, and hopefully give some reasonable advice.

11-03-2009, 05:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
mamalette Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Lawrence Gender: Female Posts: 1	Is this how therapy should go? I just went to a therapy appointment, I haven't seen a therapist since I was a child. She asked about my family history and how things were going at the moment. I told her about how my anxiety is getting so bad that I can function, I dont want to leave my house and I am having anxiety attacks constantly. She told me that I had to be and adult and get over it, those were her exact words. I told her its not as simple as just getting over it, I literally feel like im in a tiny box and cant breathe and I just shut down, and she told me that I need to get on antidepressants and until then I will just have to learn to get over it. Thats pretty much all she said during my session. I am just wondering if therapists all are like this or if it was just her. I really want to get a new therapist but I dont know if this is all just my anxiety making me think this or not, can anyone help me out?

11-03-2009, 05:55 PM	#2 (permalink)
Phoenix87 Status: King of the Phoenix Realm Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Canada Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 258	She's terrible, go find someone that cares. Sounds like she's just wasting your time and money. __________________ I intend to live forever. So far, so good. When in doubt, mumble. I Fuking Love to Cuddle! You can't have Manslaughter, without 'laughter.' Don't bother me... I'm wasting potential! FACEBOOK*

11-03-2009, 10:29 PM	#4 (permalink)
Breakfast0fChampions Status: Resist. Unlearn. Defy. Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In My Tree Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 670	No, this isn't how therapy should go. Find a new therapist, because this one isn't doing her job right. __________________ I'mma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you - Weezer, Pork and Beans Had my eyes peeled both wide open, and I got a glimpse Of my innocence... got back my inner sense... Baby got it, still got it - Pearl Jam, In My Tree Facebook - SuperBetter! A multi-player way to beat SA - Writerly

11-03-2009, 10:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
kc1895 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Los Angeles Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 61	Its hard to tell from what you've said. Are her exact words to just get over your anxiety, or was she referring to a specific situation where you have to cope in order to make progress? Either way, telling someone to just "get over it" is not professional or helpful for a therapist to say. They aren't supposed to give you advice or brush off your problem. But it seems to me that there is more to this story. Maybe you are misinterpreting?

11-03-2009, 11:01 PM	#5 (permalink)
papaSmurf Status: Adrift Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 138	Yeah, as everyone is saying, this is pretty much terrible. No therapist worth his/her salt should ever make light of a problem that's obviously causing you considerable distress. There are good therapists out there though, so keep looking!

11-05-2009, 01:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
ShyViolet Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 1,942	She's an idiot who should not be in that line of work.

11-05-2009, 01:06 PM	#7 (permalink)
Homersxchild Status: Garr. Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: USA. Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 110	No, that's not how it should go. If this woman knew anything, she would know that people with SAD cannot just 'get over it', that's the whole point of therapy, to help us get over it. I'm guessing she wasn't experienced in anxiety disorders? I think you should search out someone who is. I went to a therapist once, but she was a general family therapist, she didn't really know how to handle someone with anxiety. After a couple sessions she told me she didn't know how to help me anymore other than just talking about it. But she never once told me to just 'get over it', she knew it was too hard for me. So, it sounds like yours was just a *****. Don't give up on all therapists because of one person that's misinformed.

11-05-2009, 01:28 PM	#8 (permalink)
JMX Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Indiana Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 299	You might as well ask a stranger the same question, because they will give you the same response: "just get over it" My therapist didn't give breathtaking advice, but what was very comforting was that she understood the situation I was in. I gave specific examples on how I felt in certain situations, and she was able to create a picture from it. When I kept giving more examples of social situations I've been in, sometimes she will interrupt and guess how I felt, which was almost spot-on. I think it's not only a lack of expertise on your therapist's part, but also a lack of communication. Of course, this is none of your fault if you've been giving detailed explanations of your experiences. My advice is to find someone else who can understand the situations you've been going through, and hopefully give some reasonable advice.