Social Anxiety Support

Breakfast0fChampions · 10-02-2009, 05:19 PM

I've been seeing my therapist since the last week of August. I just had my sixth visit with her. I know therapy is going to take a while and isn't a short term fix, so I've been patient with her even though there have been some times I've doubted her.

However, I've come to doubt her even more after today when she:

1) asked me if my mother was judgmental and if I got the idea all people were like that because of her, when she had asked me this in a visit or two beforehand

2) brought in a children's guide to overcoming OCD to illustrate to me that I needed to sort out the "junk" thoughts in my head from the valuable thoughts (which made sense enough, except I'm not a child and I don't have OCD, even though it is also an anxiety disorder)

3) didn't seem to remember what we agreed I should do before seeing her this time

4) compared her phobia of needles to my social phobia to try and get me to feel that she understood my anxiety

One of the worst things to me is that she doesn't seem to remember things she's asked me in previous visits, so she asks me things repeatedly and keeps making the same points to me. Since it started happening, maybe three visits ago, I figured even though it was annoying that it was no big deal and just because she sees many people in a day. However I think a therapist should keep tabs on the details and ESPECIALLY keep tabs on where the therapy is going, which she hasn't.

Also, probably the biggest problem I have with her is she hasn't given me any specific directions or things to practice as far as changing my thought patterns. She did write out some random directions in maybe the third visit for me to catch my negative thoughts and turn them around, but this is not at all what I'm looking for. I thought CBT was highly structured with many steps in both the changing of thought patterns and the exposures. What I'm getting is "Talk yourself into it and go volunteer/hang out in a group at school/etc!"

This is kind of a ramble now, but is this behavior acceptable from a therapist? Does she sound like she knows what she is doing? Do I give her more time? Tell her my concerns based on what I've written here? I thought therapy was going to introduce more discipline into my recovery from SA, but it seems I could be doing better on my own with a self-help workbook and a prescription.

Homersxchild · 10-02-2009, 05:44 PM

I don't have much experience with therapists but it doesn't sound like a very reliable therapist.

Well, did you tell her that your mom was judgemental? If that's true, than maybe it is possible there is a correlation.

I don't know about the children's OCD book. I can see the point of differing between junk thoughts and good thoughts. Maybe she thought it was the best way of explaining it. I don't think it's that bad.

What got to me was her comparing her phobia of needles to Social Phobia. It's just not the same thing. I have an intense fear of needles as well but it is definitely not similar in scope or thought processes of that of someone with intense Social Anxiety.

In my opinion, a therapist should remember what a patient and herself has been talking about. When I went to my one therapist, she always seemed to remember what we discussed, she would take notes throughout our sessions, probably writing down key points. That is something a therapist should do. So to me, it sounds unprofessional of her not to remember.

I never went through CBT, but I thought there were steps involved as well.

I would suggest just talking with her about your concerns. Is she specialized in Anxiety Disorders? Ask her how many other people with anxiety she has worked with. Tell her that you don't think her advice of just 'getting out there' is helping and that you need more.

Breakfast0fChampions · 10-02-2009, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homersxchild

Well, did you tell her that your mom was judgemental? If that's true, than maybe it is possible there is a correlation.

She had already asked this in an earlier session and I said yes. I had already known my parents screwed up massively when raising me, so this wasn't a big revelation, and that she asked me twice because she couldn't remember the first time bugs me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homersxchild

What got to me was her comparing her phobia of needles to Social Phobia. It's just not the same thing. I have an intense fear of needles as well but it is definitely not similar in scope or thought processes of that of someone with intense Social Anxiety.

I completely agree. At the time she was telling me this I just let her speak and had small thoughts that she didn't understand, but now I'm more annoyed by her telling me this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homersxchild

In my opinion, a therapist should remember what a patient and herself has been talking about. When I went to my one therapist, she always seemed to remember what we discussed, she would take notes throughout our sessions, probably writing down key points. That is something a therapist should do. So to me, it sounds unprofessional of her not to remember.

Exactly. She has taken notes every session but the one I went to earlier today (or yesterday, since it's now 2 AM). It really surprises me that she doesn't reference them before seeing me each time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homersxchild

I would suggest just talking with her about your concerns. Is she specialized in Anxiety Disorders? Ask her how many other people with anxiety she has worked with. Tell her that you don't think her advice of just 'getting out there' is helping and that you need more.

On her profile on Psychology Today she claimed she had specialization in working with anxiety disorders, particularly OCD. I understand now she's probably never worked with SA before, though.

I'll tell her my concerns when I see her on the 12th, but in the mean time I'll just have to work my own plan.

Thanks for your reply!

Mango7 · 10-03-2009, 11:23 AM

I learned the hard way because my second therapist had no clue what SA was and decided that I didn't have it either. She tried to persuade me that I probably had something else. Although I have every symptom of someone with SA.

When they aren't experienced with your particular disorder, then stop seeing them because it's a waste of your time and then they start making you feel bad.

arth67 · 10-04-2009, 12:07 PM

I didnt read all of it but we need to remember that some therapists, due to their orientation or training give little or no advice, their approach is to help the client work out their problems for themselves

this type of therapist is useless for SA treatment, IMO
we need lots of advice and often correction of our attitudes

10-02-2009, 05:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
Breakfast0fChampions Status: Resist. Unlearn. Defy. Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In My Tree Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 674	Is this acceptable from a therapist? I've been seeing my therapist since the last week of August. I just had my sixth visit with her. I know therapy is going to take a while and isn't a short term fix, so I've been patient with her even though there have been some times I've doubted her. However, I've come to doubt her even more after today when she: 1) asked me if my mother was judgmental and if I got the idea all people were like that because of her, when she had asked me this in a visit or two beforehand 2) brought in a children's guide to overcoming OCD to illustrate to me that I needed to sort out the "junk" thoughts in my head from the valuable thoughts (which made sense enough, except I'm not a child and I don't have OCD, even though it is also an anxiety disorder) 3) didn't seem to remember what we agreed I should do before seeing her this time 4) compared her phobia of needles to my social phobia to try and get me to feel that she understood my anxiety One of the worst things to me is that she doesn't seem to remember things she's asked me in previous visits, so she asks me things repeatedly and keeps making the same points to me. Since it started happening, maybe three visits ago, I figured even though it was annoying that it was no big deal and just because she sees many people in a day. However I think a therapist should keep tabs on the details and ESPECIALLY keep tabs on where the therapy is going, which she hasn't. Also, probably the biggest problem I have with her is she hasn't given me any specific directions or things to practice as far as changing my thought patterns. She did write out some random directions in maybe the third visit for me to catch my negative thoughts and turn them around, but this is not at all what I'm looking for. I thought CBT was highly structured with many steps in both the changing of thought patterns and the exposures. What I'm getting is "Talk yourself into it and go volunteer/hang out in a group at school/etc!" This is kind of a ramble now, but is this behavior acceptable from a therapist? Does she sound like she knows what she is doing? Do I give her more time? Tell her my concerns based on what I've written here? I thought therapy was going to introduce more discipline into my recovery from SA, but it seems I could be doing better on my own with a self-help workbook and a prescription. __________________ I'mma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you - Weezer, Pork and Beans Had my eyes peeled both wide open, and I got a glimpse Of my innocence... got back my inner sense... Baby got it, still got it - Pearl Jam, In My Tree Facebook - SuperBetter! A multi-player way to beat SA - Writerly

10-04-2009, 12:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
arth67 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: austral;ia Gender: Male Posts: 217	I didnt read all of it but we need to remember that some therapists, due to their orientation or training give little or no advice, their approach is to help the client work out their problems for themselves this type of therapist is useless for SA treatment, IMO we need lots of advice and often correction of our attitudes __________________ life is not a dress rehursal

10-02-2009, 05:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
Homersxchild Status: Garr. Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: USA. Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 110	I don't have much experience with therapists but it doesn't sound like a very reliable therapist. Well, did you tell her that your mom was judgemental? If that's true, than maybe it is possible there is a correlation. I don't know about the children's OCD book. I can see the point of differing between junk thoughts and good thoughts. Maybe she thought it was the best way of explaining it. I don't think it's that bad. What got to me was her comparing her phobia of needles to Social Phobia. It's just not the same thing. I have an intense fear of needles as well but it is definitely not similar in scope or thought processes of that of someone with intense Social Anxiety. In my opinion, a therapist should remember what a patient and herself has been talking about. When I went to my one therapist, she always seemed to remember what we discussed, she would take notes throughout our sessions, probably writing down key points. That is something a therapist should do. So to me, it sounds unprofessional of her not to remember. I never went through CBT, but I thought there were steps involved as well. I would suggest just talking with her about your concerns. Is she specialized in Anxiety Disorders? Ask her how many other people with anxiety she has worked with. Tell her that you don't think her advice of just 'getting out there' is helping and that you need more.

10-03-2009, 11:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
Mango7 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 89	I learned the hard way because my second therapist had no clue what SA was and decided that I didn't have it either. She tried to persuade me that I probably had something else. Although I have every symptom of someone with SA. When they aren't experienced with your particular disorder, then stop seeing them because it's a waste of your time and then they start making you feel bad.